Just found out and falling apart

After alternating periods of tears, walking around in circles in shock, and more tears all day, I found this board. Glad you all are here. I need some advice. I have had a three-year period of abstinence until recently and prior to that it was the same partner (and I'm pretty positive he was faithful), for 10 years. Had sex with a new partner twice, last time 28 days prior to finding 3 tiny blisters, totally freaking out and rushing to the doctor last week. Dr said she was 99% sure it wasn't, but took a culture anyway. I got the call yesterday and I'm positive for type 2. I'm scheduling bloodwork for Monday. These tests are very confusing but I'm hoping to find out how long I've had it...I can't stop thinking that he gave it to me I am beyond and angry. It also seems people can carry it a long time but never symptoms so I haven't said anything to him. What do you all think? What are the chances of getting it three or more years ago from someone who I'm pretty sure was faithful or developing it from this new partner? I'm worried sick.

Hi, @scared2death. The short answer is, anything is possible, and there aren't statistics to give you on this type of question. If the blood test comes back positive, then you've likely had it for awhile. If the blood test is negative, then it's probably a recent infection. That's because the blood tests are testing for antibodies your body produces in response to the virus, and it takes time to build up enough antibodies to be detected through a blood test.

I found out I have HSV1 and HSV2 after I divorced, and my ex-husband later tested negative when I told him about it. Coming to terms with simply not knowing who gave it to me has just been part of the process.

Thank you HikingGirl. The timing is just too much of a coincidence. I have had zero sex partners in the last three years and then the same person for the previous 10. I think I'm still in shock. I just wish there was a way to know for sure. I don't want to blow up and accuse him and I would have done that the other day. Having time to think it over, he may not have any idea that he has it but if it's not him that would mean mini mini years in the past and I just can't buy that.

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. It will get better though, I promise you that.

HSV is a tricky virus and can stay dormant so your first outbreak shows up a while after you were actually infected. I would say that it is not the norm for HSV2 but it can happen.

I do think you should wait a few weeks to do the blood work - antibodies for HSV2 won't show up right away. It takes a few weeks for it to establish, so I would wait maybe a month. Otherwise you might get a negativt HSV2 result which might not be the case since the result from the culture said positive for HSV2.

Happy to hear that your doctor did a culture directly on the lesion. If that result really showed HSV2 there is not really any doubt that this is what you have. Cultures are very accurate.

And yes - the guy you might have gotten this from could very well be asymptomatic. Most people are (around 80% or so). Remember that HSV is a very common virus and after the first year outbreaks seem to lessen.

Wish you all the best!

Hi:)

So sorry you're also in this situation. I just recently found out two weeks ago and have yet to tell my bf. I had some irritation after sex with him but I did an igg blood test and it looks like I've had it a while. Score was >5. We've only been together 6 months. (He lives thousands of miles away) I haven't had contact with him since I found out). Anyway, I know this is a very scary time! Be kind to yourself though. It sucks really really bad, I get that! But it's not the end of the world although I know it feels that way! Hang in there! And also know that 80-90% of people have no idea they have it and they don't test for it on regular std panels :( infuriating right?

Xoxo

I understand your concerns as well. I had an ulcer that I found last week. Got my blood test back that said negative but I know my swab will be positive. Just waiting for the results. I told my boyfriend and I know it was him who gave it to me. It's been hard to come to terms with it but stay strong!

My doctor acted like it's not big deal which was comforting yet kind of irritating...she kept saying it's a cold sore virus. I don't have any textbook symptoms and never have she told me that she would've never suggested I tested for this (I did it on my own). She also told me the clinic she used to work for tested every pregnant woman for herpes and it tore relationships apart so she is very reluctant to test if physical symptoms aren't present.