Disclosure Wording

I was diagnosed with HSV-2 via an IGG bloodtest. In the 10.5 range, so it seems pretty equivocal :) I initially thought, and it still might be, my initial outbreak was 2.5 months prior to testing and consisted of oral (inside the mouth only -- sore on my tonsil) symptoms, fatigue, headache, fever, and swollen lymph glands. This was 7 days after sex with a new, at the time, casual sex partner (who claims to have no issues, but maybe she's asymptomatic). I summed all of this up to mean I was a rare person with Oral HSV-2 as I had no genital symptoms. I know I could be asymptomatic in the genitals, but I thought if I am playing the odds, my initial outbreak being oral only proved I was a rare case.

Long story short, I saw a doctor today, and she said what I thought was my initial outbreak 2.5 months ago could be what the doctor back then thought it was -- an upper respiratory infection -- due to pus and white spots in my throat. She also told me that the butt rash I saw her for was not herpes.

This has me reevaluating my situation, other than the fact I know I have HSV-2 in my body and antibodies responding to it.

I am wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to verbalize this with new partners in disclosure? Do I just say, "I've tested positive on a blood test for herpes, but I have not had any confirmed symptoms or outbreaks"? I want to be in integrity 100%, but I want to word in this in an accurate way that does not freak people out. The doctor I saw said that based on what she knows about my situation, it is very rare to transmit if I have not had any outbreaks. Yes -- I know about asymptomatic viral shedding -- but I wasn't going to get into a long conversation/debate with her. I feel like if I say to someone that I've tested positive for herpes but I've never had an outbreak, it is going to bring up WAY more questions/confusion than decisions/answers. Maybe I am just stuck in my head right now, and making assumptions, I don't know.

If anyone is in this situation, or has any ideas, I'd love to hear it. Not sure how many people are on this forum that are asymptomatic but have been tested and are going out of their way to be courteous and educated.

Well, you can't give them information you truly don't have, so I would suggest keeping it simple and saying something like "I've tested positive for HSV2, one of the viruses that causes herpes. I've never had symptoms, but I'm sharing this because I'm aware that, even among those with no symptoms, there is a very small risk of transmission, and I want to be completely transparent about that. I'm happy to answer any questions you may have." Then if they ask you specifics about location, you can explain that in the absence of symptoms, you can't be sure of location.

Personally, I just assume my infection is genital since that's the most common (by far) site of infection for HSV2, but I never had oral symptoms like you did, so it's an easier assumption for me to make, I think.

I know this lack of specific knowledge might also make it harder to feel like you're doing what you can to prevent transmission, but the fact is that preventive measures don't change much based on location. Antivirals, condoms, avoiding outbreaks, disclosing. If you have an oral HSV2 infection, the likelihood of transmission is negligible and most people don't use condoms for oral sex, but condoms are never a bad idea for intercourse, at least when it comes to new partners, so why not cover your bases.

@optimist

Thanks, this really helps! Maybe in the future if I get some sores in my mouth (that I normally would attribute the canker sores I've gotten my entire life) or definitely if I get sores on the outside of my mouth/lips, I'll get them swabbed/typed. But hopefully I have no outbreaks.