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What are the chances of passing herpes on valtrex and no outbreak?


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My herpes culture came back + , I'm on Valtrex, and currently NO outbreak. I stupidly had unprotected sex ( totally unplanned) how likely is it that I passed it on to my partner? thank you, for understanding and not judging, I did not know how to bring it up, and didnt't plan on having sex with him, at all.

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Probably very unlikely.

I remember when I was new to having it I dated a guy very briefly as he lived in another province.. I hadn't disclosed to him. And we got intimate and he went down on me but we didn't have sex. So for weeks after every selfie he sent me I always like ANALYZED them to make sure he didn't have a cold sore or something. I was soooo scared. lol

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@stillstanding , thank you for the apology, yes I understand the struggle and I too am still struggling as its so new. I am mostly mad that someone didn't have enough balls to tell me and give me a choice...I know this next statement is so wrong but I figured if he didn't care about not telling me, why should I care about telling him..I realize that's not the answer but, I too am struggling. I don't understand how a person could knowingly do that to someone, but I also thought I was ok bc no ob, and I was on valtrex....this has turned my world upside down and I'm struggling to now accept myself, so I understand your struggle and appreciate the apology. Have a great day, we will be ok!!!!

 

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@countrygirl13 In case this gives you some peace of mind, most people who have HSV don't know they have it. Studies indicate 80-90% who have it are simply unaware and often it is unknowingly passed on to partners. This may or may not have been the case with the person who transmitted it to you, I don't know.

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Thank you @optimist !!! I'd like to give myself more credit than to be with someone who would withhold this information, sincerely thank you I have not been able to research the topic much since my diagnosis. So I appreciate everything everyone has to offer on this site!!! Hopefully I will have some time to research before work today. Thank you again and have a good day!!!

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@countrygirl13 My pleasure. Here's one of many reputable sources of information: https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes-detailed.htm

 

Among the relevant details from the CDC page linked above:

 

- "Most individuals infected with HSV-1 or HSV-2 are asymptomatic or have very mild symptoms that go unnoticed or are mistaken for another skin condition. As a result, 87.4% of infected individuals remain unaware of their infection."

 

- "Transmission most commonly occurs from an infected partner who does not have visible sores and who may not know that he or she is infected."

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@countrygirl13 Sorry if my post made you feel bad b/c I was kinda a jerk. I am struggling with being hsv+ and am still trying to accept this myself. Personally, I couldn't imagine not disclosing but I also realize stuff happens..... so again, I'm sorry.

 

@stillstanding, I just wanted to acknowledge you for circling back to this post and making a follow-up comment. I am one year post-diagnosis, and because I'm heavily studying shame at the moment, I've just now been realizing that sometimes when I'm feeling shame, I have shamed others with my remarks. It was really kind of frightening to initially realize I was sometimes part of the problem and not the solution!! It takes a lot of awareness to realize this, and a lot of courage for any of us to admit when we're wrong. So I just wanted to acknowledge this about you. {hugs}

 

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@countrygirl13 The stat that sticks out in my mind is this... from female to male, with antivirals but no condoms, the risk is about 2% per year assuming sex twice a week (I never really appreciated that number until I learned about the frequency it was based off of). So one time? Yes, it's possible, and has happened. It's just statistically unlikely.

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@hikinggirl @countrygirl13 I am finding a new level of honesty or maybe a new level of self awareness because of this skin condition. It's really not a big deal, but it is. Adrial calls this 'herpes opportunity' and yes, I am beginning to see herpes as an opportunity to have deep conversations that were once so easy to avoid.

 

I'm only weeks into this process and I'm far from perfect - far from accepting this new companion.

 

They say pain is growth - and I have been hurting. I have to believe that we'll all come out of this as stronger and better for it.

 

It's great to have others around who are in my same predicament - people who understand. We'll get thru this 8)

 

Cheers

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  • 2 weeks later...

I believe the stats are so low, that you have a greater chance of dying in a car accident. People really need to understand that HSV truly is not a big deal. There are so many things far worse. Most people don't fear the Flu as much as they do Herpes, yet thousands die every year from the Flu. There are 8 strains of Herpes and all of us have been exposed to several of them, well unless you live in a bubble.

 

This unwarranted fear is the result of drug companies and the media. Part of the blame can also be put on the medical community, for not educating the public.

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@stillstanding & @Dave thank you for your comments and your advice. It has been about a month since my diagnosis and I am still struggling to understand everything it seems so overwhelming to me. I have read the books on disclosure but I am still having a hard time thinking about having that conversation I feel dating is hard enough and people are so shallow that I could never think of disclosing to someone and have them not judge me but therefore if they would judge me they would not be the right person anyway. Has anyone had to disclose and how do you bring it up at first do disclose right away before you become serious or wait until you develop a trust with that person. Thank you so much for allowing me to ask questions and not judging I do believe H opportunity is an opportunity for us to get acquainted with people with similarities and obviously you all understand better than the General Public. So thank you again it means a lot to know that I am not alone!!!

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@countrygirl13 - I know EXACTLY what you're talking about - I'm a month into learning that I'm hsv2+ so I've struggled with many of the same questions.

 

My twist is that I started dating someone about 2-1/2 weeks ago - may not seem like a big deal, but the connection we have forced me to start a disclosure discussion. I waited about 4 dates before I had the courage to open up - I couldn't go months because I wanted either acceptance or rejection. I dont have the energy to invest in a relationship unless theres a possibility its going somewhere.

 

I emailed her my disclosure because I couldn't find a good opportunity to say: btw, I have herpes. I also wanted her to have a chance to digest before being forced to make any decisions. This email opened up some honest, frank, deep conversations that actually moved the relationship forward.

 

We had sex this past weekend... I've gone from thinking I would be celibate the rest of my life to having a deep connection with an amazing person in 31 days.

 

My new thinking is: don't stress too much about herpes - easier said than done - but, when the right person comes along they will work with you or they will move on. If they stay, you have a better chance of having that deeper connection we all want

 

Cheers.

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@countrygirl13 - I know EXACTLY what you're talking about - I'm a month into learning that I'm hsv2+ so I've struggled with many of the same questions.

 

My twist is that I started dating someone about 2-1/2 weeks ago - may not seem like a big deal, but the connection we have forced me to start a disclosure discussion. I waited about 4 dates before I had the courage to open up - I couldn't go months because I wanted either acceptance or rejection. I dont have the energy to invest in a relationship unless theres a possibility its going somewhere.

 

I emailed her my disclosure because I couldn't find a good opportunity to say: btw, I have herpes. I also wanted her to have a chance to digest before being forced to make any decisions. This email opened up some honest, frank, deep conversations that actually moved the relationship forward.

 

We had sex this past weekend... I've gone from thinking I would be celibate the rest of my life to having a deep connection with an amazing person in 31 days.

 

My new thinking is: don't stress too much about herpes - easier said than done - but, when the right person comes along they will work with you or they will move on. If they stay, you have a better chance of having that deeper connection we all want

 

Cheers.

 

Beautiful.

 

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My herpes culture came back + , I'm on Valtrex, and currently NO outbreak. I stupidly had unprotected sex ( totally unplanned) how likely is it that I passed it on to my partner? thank you, for understanding and not judging, I did not know how to bring it up, and didnt't plan on having sex with him, at all.

It was unlikely but possible. We need to be realistic and remember that we were part of that "possible" people who got it so we need to make sure that we don't do that to someone else.

 

 

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