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In this Discussion

positive guide to herpes disclosure


Disclosing to family

Hey everyone.

So I'm coming up on my first anniversary with HSV and I still haven't told my family. Does anyone have any helpful tips? My mom can be extremely judgemental and already thinks I'm horrible for losing my virginity. I honestly don't even know if I'm ready or prepared to tell her. How did you disclose to family? How did they react? Any and all inputs would be appreciated!


  • @cier There's no reason to disclose to family if you don't want to.

    I did talk to my siblings about it because I needed emotional support at the time. They were both supportive, as I expected they would be. If I'd expected judgment from them, I would not have told them as they don't need to know.
  • There's definitely no need to tell them if you don't want to. There's not a chance in hell I'm telling anyone in my family--way too much judgement.
  • cier Member
    I just feel like this secret is eating me up inside. But nothing good will come out of me disclosing to my family. I'm in a lose lose situation.
  • JeffH Member
    When I saw my family over Christmas I took the chance to tell them. I'm happy I did; they've been supportive and it's been helpful for me. I waited for a moment when just the people I wanted to know were in the room, and just said "I have some serious long term bad news. I have genital herpes."

    They all took it well, but I think my family is different - my mom is a NP of Ob/gyn. I would say only disclose if you think it would help you. Given your situation, I would advise not to disclose
  • @cier, have you told anyone else? If not, you might get the same sense of relief by telling a trusted friend or a counselor.
  • cier Member
    Yes I've told 3 people total.
  • I have been diagnosed for 3 years. I still have not told my parents and i wont bc its none of their business. I'm almost 40 years old My parents are judgemental. Ive told my 19 yr old and 17 yr old (both boys)...had to shake up their worlds when I gave em the birds and the bees talk. Use your judgement and discernment about who to disclose to. Ive always disclosed to my partners
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