Did I pass it to him?!?

Does anyone know the numbers on passing herpes to a man during an active outbreak? I read its a 75% chance but can not find it anywhere else nor if male or female. The guy I dated before my "friend" (broke up over this) we had sex twice with a condom in April, I had (what I now know) an outbreak in Sept/Oct. 6months later (Cant recall exact month) but I know that is what prompted me to re test so quickly because I had already done so. It felt like mosquito bites on my backend, that's all but it was weird. My now current "friend" went in got tested Nov 18. Approx a possible 2/3weeks-1 1/2 month after my outbreak. I read everywhere that the antibodies are detectable only after approx 3-6months for sure. He said he feels okay but he had a rash on his thigh or something dry skin though. And he had definite flu like symptoms a cpl times but its flu season. We had sex often several times a day unprotected for about 5 months before I even knew. He also kept that area shaved which I read was not great for transmission, howevwr he is a very healthy male. Takes vitamins, supplements, eats healthy organic, gym 5x a week etc he was even already taking powder Lysine. He dis at one point mention that he is not use to being sick for so long, when he was sick, he thought it was strange he was still nit better after about 3days to a week. Again before we knew anything. What are the possibilities?

For an active outbreak, 75% is right. That's an average across all people. It's lower for passing to a man. However, based on what you wrote here, I don't think you had an active outbreak, correct me if I'm wrong.

When exactly did he get tested? You wrote 2/3 weeks and 1.5 months. Those are pretty different numbers. If it was the 1.5 months, about 65% of infections would be caught then.

Well I read that symptims are different across the board, sobI presummed it could have been. There still would be no explanations for what I felt other than herpes, I'm very relatively healthy myself. When I was in the shower I recall it being painful to wash but also very satisfying to rub them (if that makes since) thats why I related it to a mosquito bite. I have no idea what it looked like back there in my doctor never looked just ordered the test. Evwn going to the bathroom it would hurt to wipe my backend. I was officially tested on the 9th of November, there had to be approx no more than a 4day window from symptoms to testing. I had to find my lab work but in knowing this he was tested on the 18th of November. So lets approximate I had an active outbreak Nov 5th, 2016 he was tested Nov. 18th, 2016. Whats possibilities now?

My dates were varied prior too because I was correlating from the time I had symptoms to the time he was actually teated. Byt having my lab resukts provide with a better time frame, it could in fact be Nov. altogether when I felt symptoms all in itself not Sept or Oct at all. I really wish I could recall the date, honestly. But knowing this it seems more acurate he could have been tested about 2 weeks after my symptoms

I'm still having trouble understanding your timeline, so I'll just throw out what I've learned in the months since I've had symptoms. I've become quite an expert since I've had to contact a few people and try to work things out.

The 75% chance you cited really applies to an outbreak with sores. That doesn't seem to be the case for you, provided you were having standard vaginal sex. Also, that number can't be too reliable, because you can't ethically create a study in which you have someone with a visible outbreak have unprotected sex with someone else to see what happens. So take that 75% as a rough estimate.

There's no reliable estimate for the chance of spreading herpes with shedding and unprotected contact that doesn't have blisters. My gut feeling would be that it would still be high but it is definitely less than 75%.

As for testing, about 65% of infections will be caught within 6 weeks, around 95% will be caught by 12 weeks, 99% by 16 weeks, and effectively anyone who would ever test positive will do so by 6 months. Pretty much everyone will eventually test positive, especially if we're talking about normal otherwise healthy people.

Hi Rayofsunshine, our stories are oddly similar! What was the outcome if you don't mind me asking?