So can I get it from him? Or not?

Hi all,

My boyfriend had his first HSV2 outbreak several months ago. Shortly thereafter, I tested positive for HSV2 as well. I also tested positive for an active infection at the time. Up to this point, I have not had symptoms (that I am aware of.) Since he is the only person that I have had skin to skin contact with genitally, we assume I got it from him.

Although I was initially upset at my diagnosis, it did come with a sense of relief. My bf and I are in a long-term, secure relationship, so I was happy that I could have sex with him without concern of him passing it on to me.

At least, so I thought. Everything I've read says that once you have it, you have it, and no one can give it to you again. Yet my doctor's advice directly contradicted this. She said that I actually CAN still get the virus from him, and therefore I should proceed with caution when it comes to sex. Her explanation was that some people get more of the virus than others, and that because I am "asymptomatic" now, I risk getting more of the virus from him and becoming symptomatic.

...So what gives? I can't find a single article that verifies what she said. And as most of us here know, just because I am "asymptomatic" doesn't mean I'm not having regular viral shedding. She's acting as if I just don't have it at all. Can anyone shed some light? Thanks!

Your doctor is misinformed. :) If you two share the HSV-2 virus, then you both have it. You can't get "more" of the virus from each other. Just avoid having sex during an active outbreak.

@nikirae @adrial A physician's assistant once told me that even if I'm with a partner who also has HSV2, there are different strains of the same virus (just like there's different strains of the flu virus) and if we had different strains, it was possible I could get the strain he has and then get different (better or worse) outbreaks than I do now. I wonder if that's what your doctor was trying to say to you.

I posed this question to Terri Warren, an expert on herpes, via e-mail when I was getting the Western Blot test from her (now closed) clinic. Terri wrote back to me and said, "While it is conceptually true, experts agree that there is no clinical implication to this theory and we do not discourage this kind of contact nor do we suggest that you be careful about transmission with someone who has your same type (1 or 2)."

Hope that helps to clear the confusion and put your mind at ease. Like Adrial said, I definitely wouldn't worry about getting "more of the virus" from your boyfriend. Outbreaks can change over time anyway, with or without additional exposure.

@nikirae @adrial A physician's assistant once told me that even if I'm with a partner who also has HSV2, there are different strains of the same virus (just like there's different strains of the flu virus) and if we had different strains, it was possible I could get the strain he has and then get different (better or worse) outbreaks than I do now. I wonder if that's what your doctor was trying to say to you.

 

I posed this question to Terri Warren, an expert on herpes, via e-mail when I was getting the Western Blot test from her (now closed) clinic. Terri wrote back to me and said, "While it is conceptually true, experts agree that there is no clinical implication to this theory and we do not discourage this kind of contact nor do we suggest that you be careful about transmission with someone who has your same type (1 or 2)."

 

Hope that helps to clear the confusion and put your mind at ease. Like Adrial said, I definitely wouldn't worry about getting "more of the virus" from your boyfriend. Outbreaks can change over time anyway, with or without additional exposure.

Thank you so much for this. After posting this question, I did more research and essentially found the same result in a couple of medical journals. That while technically possible, it's not something that has much practical application. I've also found through this HSV experience that while I have a great deal of respect for my family medicine doctor, she is frankly not very informed about sexual health.

My boyfriend and I will always err on the side of caution, but these past few months of fearing I could still get it made intimacy stressful. To finally arrive at a place where I can allow my mind to rest has truly restored our relationship to a much happier place. Thanks so much.