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Rejection, fingering friction & ob


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I am 44 year old female. I was diagnosed with gHSV1 when I was 17. I havent had an outbreak for 20 years. Since I left my marriage and back to dating, I am terrified of disclosure. I have disclosed twice and both times rejected - made to feel like I had the plague. This has spun me into paranoia about any sexual contact and has really damaged my confidence. I didn't think it would have brought me down so much, after years of healing and learning to love myself. It seems more of a stigma now than when I dated in my 20s, where I was only rejected once. Now twice in 3 months, makes me want to never be vulnerable in that way again. Anyway, i have met someone and our sexual chemistry is intense. It is still early and slowing it down is fine for now. However, We got alot more sexual than I planned the other night, there was just lots of petting and fingering. (No oral or sex). I was extremely dry when he was fingering me vigorously (due to wine - not usually a problem). It has been 4 days since that night. Last night I noticed tingling and some itching, felt little bumps. This morning the bumps were bigger, looking white inside and itchy. I am wondering if this is an outbreak, it has been so long. Could the dry friction from fingering, along with my high stress of rejection and herpes paranoia cause me to have an outbreak after so many years? I am also worried about the fact he fingered me, for his sake, there was no sign of any OB at the time. I have read that it is highly unlikely anything will happen if there is no active outbreak. Love to hear any thoughts.

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Yes, I definitely think that the dry friction from sex along with stress could have caused a herpes outbreak, as these are common triggers. But considering you haven't had an outbreak in 20 years, and you have genital HSV1, which is much less severe and less likely to recur than genital HSV2, there shouldn't be much to worry about. Just be more careful in the future and you should not experience many more outbreaks.

 

Also, in regards to transmitting the herpes to your partner, the only way would be if your partner had an open cut on his finger and if you had an active outbreak on your genitals. Since you said that you did not have an active outbreak, there is nothing to worry about.

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