i dont know what to do

I have had H for 7 months now. I got it from an ex. I broke up with him aand now I'm with the ex bf before him. I ended up giving him H. He was accepting of it at first but now he denies he has it and its so hard on me. I feel like crap and it makes me feel gross that the partner I'm with and have been with for 2 years (with a 4 months break in that 2 years) can't accept it and I feel alone once again.

Omg so stressed out because were having a lot of issues right now and idk if its going to last. Ithink I'm having a slight ob for about a month now its just 2 hard bumps and that's its but its also hurt down there at times and sometimes when we Yvette adult relations. Ijust feel sick all the time. I cry all the time.

I'm also in recovery again from drugs and alcohol o I'm stressed constant. Iknow I'm rambling but there's no one to talk to about it with. I live in LA but I have yet to find an H buddy here or just anyone who wont judge me. A few friends know but they don't talk to me anymore nd one of them me and her are having problems and I'm afraid she's going to spread it to everyone in my recovery and at the point ongoing to hvw to change all my meetings and recover and idont want to do that it isn't fare.

Ijust need words of encouragemwnt or anything I'm super depressed and my doctor gave me lexapro to take but idont want to take it. Help please

Sayyywhatt,

I understand feeling alone and vulnerable. Although, its hard to see it when you've never physically seen any of the people from this forum, just know that everyone is here for you.

I get really depressed at times since I found out I had herpes only a month ago. However, being on here and reading people's posts reminds me that I'm not going alone thru this. My doctor prescribed me Paxil, but I've decided that I'm better off dealing with my emotions on my own than trying to medicate them away. And yes, I get super depressed and will cry until I feel I cannot cry anymore but this reminds me that I'm going through my process and there will be a point where I will come out. I already see myself much less depressed than when I was first diagnosed.

I can't say what your process was but it seems that you relied on your boyfriend to pull you out of the depression you first felt. It makes me think that it didn't allow you in a sense to come to terms with your diagnosis and allow you to love yourself. Loving yourself is important not only with dealing with herpes but in your recovery process.

I know it seems like sh*t right now but maybe space & time to love yourself is what you need. Just understand it is a process and feeling depressed is alright but at some point you have to do something to pull yourself up.

If you need to talk at anytime just message me. I may not have had HSV for long but I'm a great listener and sometimes all you need is someone to hear you out.

BIG HUG!

Hi Sayyywhatt,

I'm sorry to hear about how stressed out you are, and I want to reinforce the fact that you're totally not alone. CR_19 wrote a beautiful response, and I just want to chime in and be a part of the conversation.

Like CR_19, I've had those days of crying until I can't cry anymore. It's actually a beautiful thing to be able to release all of those emotions. I remember when I first talked with Adrial- he pointed out to me that emotions are literally "energy in motion."

They are not there to stay forever. They just help you release what your body needs to release. Just because you are crying now, does not mean that you will be forever. Crying can actually be a beautiful release for the body.

One of my fav. quotes is "Let feelings flow, then let them go."

Emotions such as sadness can be really cleansing for the body. You've allowed yourself to feel into that sadness, which is great, but it's really important you allow yourself to feel into self-love and compassion. You are beautifully human, and going through hardships is all part of the process. Every single person goes through them, and no body has any right to judge another.

Along with CR_19, I want to extend the invitation for you to private message me anytime to talk about anything.

Sending love,

-Katie