So...it's been a year

And I'm happy to say that life is perfectly fine. :) I think I took the diagnosis pretty well a year ago. "Welcome to 40, and oh yeah, life just tossed an H-bomb to you" was basically what I felt like. It is what it is, and I couldn't change it, so might as well accept it. I had been dumped by the love of my life in January. The one who made me think that soul mates really did exist. Then in May I found out I had herpes. Me, the person who'd only slept with a dozen men and I'm 40 yrs old. I still wasn't over soul mate dude really, and decided not to date to avoid the talk for awhile and just focus on me. I joined a gym and contacted soul mate dude to see if he'd still want to kayak since we did it every weekend previously in summer. He immediately called and we began about 6 wks of ONLY kayaking. No chit chat during the week or afterward. Life was pretty good. I realized I could easily handle just being friends.

Then mid-July he called me on a weekday at lunch (which never happened) and was distraught. He's a really healthy guy, and had just left the doctor with blood pressure of 190 over something or other. He confessed to being a closet alcoholic, and I had no clue. I asked him if he wanted to meet in town somewhere and talk since he was so upset. We sat in the park for an hour while he cried and poured his heart out to me about how well he'd hidden his alcoholism for 12 years. He said he didn't know who else to call, but he needed to get all of that off his chest. He quit drinking that day. While we were at the park, I told him I had herpes. Briefly explained it, and told him I just felt the need to tell someone. We left with a plan that I'd keep him busy in the evenings since that was when he used to drink.

Fast forward about a month, and we were very slowly progressing to dating again. Looking back on it, it happened just like it needed to. I had time to process my new found viral friend while he was focusing on his recovery. When we finally admitted to ourselves that we were actually dating again, it felt like a huge relief because he was completely ok with my virus and loved me no matter what. I had disclosed to him as a friend, and I'm glad I did because it avoided the anxiety of having to do it later and wonder if he'd bail.

So here we are...happy, happy, happy. He's remained sober (fairly easily). The first OB that I had gave me a lot of stress because I had to tell him that I couldn't have any sort of relations really. His response nearly made me cry. He told me not to stress over it, that he'd found the person he intended to spend the rest of his life with, and this was a minor issue. THANK GOD.

That was a long, drawn out story, but my point is that if it's the right person, they are truly accepting.

I've stayed on meds to prevent transmission and don't have any side effects, so herpes really is a non issue. The only reason I think about it is because I take a pill every day. Oh, and when I backpack that friction always causes an OB!!

Congratulations!! This is an awesome story!!! So glad you can both support each other. He sounds like a great guy.

Lovely to read! Thanks for sharing!

Love this post! Congrats :)

Congrats! Really appreciate you sharing. Do you mind sharing whether you have HSV 1 or 2? Have your outbreaks since been very infrequent and less painful?

Hi @Silverlining1012. I just came back to the board after a year, so I apologize for the big delay. I have genital HSV2. I take 1000mg of valacyclovir daily because I'm in a relatuonship and he's negative. I don't have OBs. When I was on 500mg pills I still had them sometimes, but they were fairly minor.

On another note... I'm 2.5 yrs out and rarely even think of what I call my little viral buddy. :) Life is good.

One more thing...the guy and I are still together and happy as can be. We're celebrating our 4th Christmas together this year.

Great story! Thanks for the update!

Thank you for the update, @JenPhoenix40! I absolutely love reading updates from individuals who’ve been able to get some time and distance (in terms of perspective) from their diagnosis. Thank you for sharing!