new to it all!

I found out 2 days ago that I have gh! For the past 2 days I have been so completely alone.I feel confused honestly.confused because I have no idea how I'm supposed to feel.I have no idea who to talk to.everywhere I turn I fear that no matter who I talk to they will all find me disgusting.when in the urgent care to get tested the doctor or nurses gave me no time.the doctor said here's your prescription and walked out of the room without allowing me to ask any questions or even telling me what medication he was putting me on...the nurses rushed out of the room also while I sat in tears of devastation. The only thing I can think is how could I be so stupid I've been taught safe sex my entire life and just never thought it would happen to me.well here I am today with gh that I have to live with forever.sorry I don't mean to offended anybody I just needed to vent a little.I haven't told anyone yet.so I have a few questions.is it true that your first outbreak is the worst? How long does it take to get over the way I feel emotionally? What can I do to get rid of the pain because I'm in horrible horrible pain I can barely move. And any encouragement or advice would be so helpful! Thank you!

Hi crm,

That was alot to take in. You just completed a step by telling someone and getting it off your chest! :) Please, do not blame yourself. If the person you were with didn't know that they were a carrier, then they couldn't have told you. I was preached safe sex my entire life and I still got it. To answer a couple of your questions, my initial first outbreak was not the worse. My worse came later on. For some, it could be the first. If you are in pain, I would suggest taking some pain meds to help with the pain or sitting in a hot bath. That usually helps for me. Have you tried taking the prescription medicine that the dr gave you? They have a tendency to take longer once you have the actual outbreak. You will come to find out about your body and will soon learn what is called "prodromal symptoms". Once you feel those, take your prescription right away. It will normally help with the outbreak never coming to surface. As far as the way you feel-that is entirely up to you. I have come to terms with mine and have decided that it will either control me or I will control it. I will not let it control my life. I will be happy and try to shine my light on other people, regardless. No one ever knows that I get down sometimes because of it. I do, I just try not to let it control all of my moods. I don't want it to lead my life. I want to lead it. I was happy before, and I will be happy after it. :) I once felt just like you do. There were many nights where I sat up in my room crying, not knowing what to do. One day, I just woke up and realized that this was not going to happen anymore and put it behind me. I try not to ever let it consume my thoughts though. It took me awhile, because I was in denial, but once I let it go, I felt like an elephant had just been released from my shoulders. I may not have the same life that I had before, but I have a new one. Think of it as a positive thing. Maybe you can shine your light on someone and help them cope with it. :)

Hi,

I am also new to this. Back in late February I was diagnosed with hsv1. I am still adjusting and doing my reading. But I have to agree with Stephaniews, you can't let it take over. If h is all we have it won't kill us. It could be worse. I just turned 27 i have my wholelife ahead of me. Im not going to let this be barrier.

After I notified my friend who I slept with. He claims he doesn't have it but he is planning to get tested. He didn't make a big fuss and told me if he doesn't have it he wouldn't let that be an issue between us if we did decide to date. It felt nice hearing him mention the things I have to offer.

Now this past Sunday I reconnected with my ex. We broke up in December. After spending a couple of hours with him. He wanted to make out and have sex and I kept avoiding it. Scared to tell him about the h. Then as I was telling him I really couldn't mess around I told him about the h. Again not sure if I got it from him or the guy I slept with this year. They both claim to have been tested( not sure if hsv included in test). And they show no symptoms. He was understanding and before I left he even mentioned the possibility of us trying to get back together. I ad,MIT I did tear up when I told him. But I had too. Not sure if he is planning to research hsv and then decide but he gave me hope.

So far I have only told 3 people. It took me weeks to tell my best friend but she is fine and has not distanced her self from me. Granted we live in different states. S far I have not received rejection. Will I ever probably. But it's ok. H seems to be very common and easy to get it can happen to anyone. For the most part I practice safe sex. Wen I was with y ex didn't always use protection. The last I was with I used protection. I always got checked by my dr and never had an std. This has definitely been an eye opener. It sucks but could be worse. I like the comparison of it being a skin condition. It makes it easier to accept and explain. We are not the first or the last. Hopefully there will be a cure.

My doctors weren't that useful with providing information. I had to research through sites like this and others similar.

I had found if you are irritated in your vaginal area a vinegar bath really helps. All you need is two cups of white vinegar. I've also tried oatmeal baths too.

Right now I'm not on daily meds. On and off I have taken lysine. Just one pill a day. I may increase it to 2. I have heard mixed feelings about this. I am also trying raw virgin coconut oil on the area too. I've also been tracking my symptoms.

Best of luck

I just found out that I have it as well. I also am in great pain and feel really alone because I am studying abroad right now and so I had to do all this in a different language. I am so happy I found this website right away because it is already making me feel a lot better. Yes our lives will be different, especially our sex lives, but they aren't over. Although it is hard to think optimistically when I am in more pain than I've ever felt in my live, I am trying to get a jump start on acceptance and dealing with it. Make sure you take the time to relax and lie on your back and air things out a bit too. Wash with warm water and only warm water! (no soap) Anyway, my best wishes to you and I hope that things improve for everyone.

Sorry to hear your news...I can relate. I was diagnosed 6 months ago with gh and never thought it would happen to me either. My first outbreak was painful for 2 weeks and the worst. My Dr. said some have only 1 big outbreak and hardly any after that, so I just thought positive and told myself that I wasn't going to stress about it (cuz that makes it worse) and believe that I can overcome this. I take no medication, just Lysine and things have been fine. I have told 1 partner and he was awesome about it, no big deal. I haven't told my friends. I figure they don't need to know...I am still me! I don't let this define me. I am still an awesome mom, social worker and friend :) We all make mistakes, and we can't change this one, so best to learn how to deal with it. This site was a blessing, because everyone is so positive and helpful. When I first started researching on the internet, there were lots of whiners about how horrible this is and it has ruined their life, that made me sad because I like to focus on the positive and find the good even in a bad situation. So find a herpe buddy on here and get some support and don't let this own you! It has helped me exercise, eat right, and be more careful and learn to relax so I don't stress. It took me a few months and all the stages of grief, but it gets better. I live in a small town and know how it feels to be alone and think you are the only one with this secret...but here you can talk to anyone and see regular good people dealing with...very encouraging! Take care and private message me if you need to!

Lots of good points here. I really want to emphasize that the feelings that you have as newly diagnosed will not be with you forever. I encourage you to watch the video chat with Adrial and Ashley- it is super helpful and inspiring. Read through the inspiring stories that are posted here.

I am not newly diagnosed but have been coping with the diagnosis over the past about 9 months, having received H from a long term relationship, in which I accepted my ex-partner and eventually got it.

It's been a long road, and this forum has helped me. However, I think deep down though, even with all the stress and concern from coping with H and starting to date again, I *knew* that eventually someone would accept me as I had accepted my ex. And now that has happened, as I disclosed for the first time to someone, and it was not an issue for him.

Feel free to message me if you like.

I feel for you...I can remember those early days and having the same question, feeling alone and judging myself (didn't have to worry about anyone else doing it - I was doing a great job myself!). Now 18 months down the track I am in a totally different space....its been a rocky road but one of learning and an amazing one of self acceptance and love. This lovely group of people helped me too.

We aren't alone..all of us here are going through the same thing, at different stages. I have helped and been helped and its a great community.

I thought I would not be able to tell anyone about it and thought I would be alone for ever. I was wrong on both accounts...I have told many people now and no one thought I was disgusting - the opposite actually, that I was brave and inspirational! And as for being alone...I met the love of my life three months ago and we are moving in together in a month. He accepted my herpes just as I accepted it in my last partner.

So trust that how you feel now will pass and there are so many good people out there who see past herpes like Atlantic and I did (big hug :-) ). Just work on being the best person you can be! A big hug for you too :-) x