Feeling jealous

So I have to confess, I am a bit, ok a lot jealous right now of my girlfriends. I have one friend she is newly single and she emails me or texts me to tell me about her latest flirting or hook ups with guys. The pre-H chick would be all excited and want to know the details. Lately I find myself just rolling my eyes and hurrying the conversation along. I don't want to know details. I get irritated. I have to get it off my chest I'm jealous. She knows I have H and she's been supportive and I've cautioned her you know to slow down, not because I don't want her to have fun but like it's all so fast. I feel so bad because I am so jealous of my single, supposedly "STD" girlfriends. They try to lift me up and tell me I will date again and it will be someone special and blah blah blah. I'm barely 5 months into this H journey and I have not yet disclose to a romantic interest but only to family and friends (which went well). However, I cannot help but feel like a huge hater right now. I feel like my carefree fun is over. I am glad though. H is a huge asshole detector. It is a blessing but I just feel so bad being jealous right now. They get to have carefree fun. But then again who knows if it won't/will end up in H or something else. I truly hope not. I was once where she was. I was single, hurt over my broken heart and dating and dating. While I didn't sleep with a bunch of guys I had my fun. So I know what she's going through. How can I get past this awful jealousy and be the supportive loving friend I was and want to be still? Can any of you relate?

I can relate...I'm pretty jealous of your flirty, hookin up friend too...that witch!! ;) j/k.

Seriously, there is still that carefree just wanna hook up for fun girl in me, and I sometimes hate knowing that she's a thing of the past. I would think your friend would be a little more cautious about it since learning about your experience? My friends were shocked to hear the statistics, and they all tell me they'd be terrified to hook up nowadays after hearing them. I just try to remind myself that I'll end up with something that runs MUCH deeper than a random...and you will too :).

Hugs!!

I'm there right now. only I'm just 1 month into my dx. :'(

Hi ,

yep i have the same feeling like you, i went 2 weeks ago to BBQ and all my friend came with the partners,they kissed around bla bla...yes i am jealous about that too.the situation let me feel really unconfortable so i went home after 2 hour.I got invited to go for short holiday trip soon but it will be with two couples and they quit new together,so no way that i am going at all.... this would let me feel more alone.Hopefully we both get over this at one point becuase jealousy creats anger too and that not good at all....i wanne be happy :)good luck

Hey brighteyes, bonafideraity and Judith,

I barely got to see these posts. Hugs to all of you!! I am feeling a bit better. I realize more than just being jealous I'm just not in that "hook up" place anymore. I actually was getting over it before the H hit. I wanted a meaningful connection and I realize that is the bottom line and that is the opportunity in this. I did have my fun before. I can still have fun in other ways, we all can. I feel for my friend because I know she is newly single and hurting and shes craving that attention and affection. I think we've all been there. She recently told me of an incident where the condom came off and she took the morning after pill. I just keep reminding her that there is more to worry about than getting pregnant. Well she's just in that phase she knows best. I can only be an ear. But anyways thanks for hearing me out. HUGS!!

hey domh,

I totally was feeling this way too about one of my friends. Shes going through her carefree, I can sleep with whoever phase too. And I have been pretty jealous of her... Im like, ugh she doesnt have to disclose to anyone, she can just have fun and not think about consequences. I think I get what you're saying too about how you're jealous but not at the same time. it is nice to almost be forced to form a stronger bond with someone and have something that weeds out the assholes. So I feel like I'm happy I'm not like my friend but mad that Im jealous because I really shouldn't be, because I'm better off the way I am. For me, I feel like it's mostly a 'i wish I could go back to the way things were' thinking and i just need to accept I am where I am now and realize everything happened for a reason! So I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better about it!

hey there kitcattat yup I feel you exactly!! I think all of us here go through these "wanting to go back" moments. This morning I woke up as if nothing feeling much better and I forgot about H completely. I accept it. It is my douchebag detector lol glad to know you get me and know I get you!! hope you have a good day!! I put on some good tunes. I'm thinking bout summer and summer fun!! What adventures/beach/road trips. That's the carefree we still have!! : )