My first disclosure :)

Just to inform you that my first disclosure was a success.

I know a fantastic guy for a year and he likes me a lot. We didn't have sex so far.

Yesterday i revealed my situation to him and his was very supportive. I said all risks.

His words: "You are unique is this world, i won't find someone like you in life. You are very special. Life is not only sex. We will take the necessary cares, and H is such a common deseases."

Now I have HOPE in life again.

My only fear is to infect him. I'll never forgive myself if it happen.

Congratulations! Good job on being your courageous, honorable, badass self and disclosing something that's tough to do. You are unique. And being able to disclose like you did is the first step in owning all of who you are, in all your uniqueness and all your imperfections, too (we all got 'em).

And the fear you mention is SO COMMON. :) It's just a symptom of not having found acceptance yet within yourself yet. So many people feel like being accepted by someone else after disclosing is their #1 goal. It's like someone else accepting me and my herpes is my savior from aloneness, my savior from my own self-judgment. Then when disclosure success happens, they're still afraid of infecting their partner, which can then expand into straightup paranoia, which then puts a wedge in the relationship, which can then create disconnection, which then unravels the relationship. The fear and self-shame still happens behind the scenes, even after someone else accepts you. Why? Because you get to still work through accepting yourself (regardless of whether you're accepted or rejected by anyone else.) ;)

So how to reframe this? See the paranoia and the fear of infecting your new partner as what it is on a deeper level: You care. You don't want to put him through the same thing you've been through. Transform paranoia into care (and carefulness). Have these kinds of conversations be opportunities for even deeper connection. You and your partner can support each other in healing whatever blocks are in the way to loving and letting go fully. Because when these fears are shared from a place of self-acceptance, they actually open the door of connection yet again to invite the relationship deeper.

And check out the 4th lifestyle guide called "Sex & Intimacy" for more of these kinds of perspective shifts and exercises to continue making this an even deeper opportunity, beyond the first step of disclosure success:

https://herpesopportunity.com/lifestyle-guides.html