My story

Hey guys!

So I was just diagnosed with hsv2 and found out in the worst way possible.im 25 years old I just had a beautiful healthy baby girl. I was scheduled for induction on November 2nd. about a week prior I felt some discomfort in my genital area, it was painful to walk or sit, but I just blew it off as a cyst because I have a history of them I even went to the hospital years back because I had a cyst on my genitals and they even told me it was one, well I'm not to sure about that now but anyways I get in the delivery room to get ready for my induction and I tell the doctor about this "cyst" I had so she proceeds to examine it..then calls a couple more people in to assist before you know it I had a whole room full of doctors/interns staring at my vag.. pretty embarrassing. And scary. So they leave to go consult and come back a few minutes later and says it's best If they did a csection just incase it was herpes. I break down crying just from that..I'm scared confused but in denial about the possibility that I could have herpes. Mind you my boyfriend/ child's father is there supporting me as he should..but I'm just wondering /afraid of what's going threw his mind you know?. So the csection went good beautiful baby girl like I said...so a couple days later ( I was still in the hospital) a Dr comes into my room when my boyfriend goes out to smoke and reveals to me that my test came back hsv2 positive and they weren't sure if it was my first outbreak or not so as a precaution they had to take my baby to the nicu and do a spinal tap on my poor newborn baby to make 100% sure that she was not infected.. I ges if it were to be my first outbreak it could've been exposed to my placenta.. I completely broke down I was so disgusted with myself how could I have let this happen ? What could I have done to change the present?? So my poor baby had to go to the nicu and b started on antivirals just as a precaution.. my boyfriend comes back and I had to tell him that I had herpes. I felt gross I felt disgusted with myself, disappointed, scared, hopeless, scum of the earth..we didn't speak for 3 hours after I was to busy crying my eyes out trying to make sense of all this but at that point I was not concerned about my well being but extremely worried about my baby. Me & him finally talked about it and I felt a little better after because he was very understanding & supportive..all though he did question if I cheated on him but when the doctor came back up she explained to him I could've gotten this disease years ago or he could've even given it to me..I should probably mention my X boyfriend of 6 years probably gave it to me years ago he's given me multiple stds. But I will never know. so the next day was my discharge day.. I had to leave the hospital with out my beautiful baby girl. The most horrible feeling I think I've ever felt.. ofcoarse the next day we went down to see our baby.. that was difficult. Seeing such a tiny person connected to a IV, heart monitors... hurt my heart. the thought of her getting this huge needle in her back alone crushed my heart. So about a hour into my visit her nurse comes in & gives me the best news it wasn't my first outbreak so there's no way the disease was passed to her so I was able to take her home!!!! That moment I will never forget.ever. I busted into tears of joy..never have I done that before. Holding my child so tight thanking god over & over for letting her be ok.. so we get to go home & as I'm so thankful for her being healthy MY diagnosis hits me I start thinking to myself I really have herpes. I cry & cry I talk to my boyfriend he assures me that everything is going to be ok.. but that doesn't change the fact that I feel undesirable not sexy like how am I ever going to have guilt free enjoyable sex with this man I love so much..for one we don't know if he has the disease or not & he refuses to see any doctors because he is a weirdo like that lol but I try to explain to him this is serious u know..I couldn't live with myself knowing that I exposed him to this life long disease. We did have sex prior to the whole hospital trip while I had the bump though . I want to orally please him( because of the whole postpartum thing we can't have intercourse anyways..) but I'm afraid to get herpes in my mouth if he does have it!! I don't know I'm just struggling with all this.. emotionally I feel fine & then out of the blue it will hit me & I'll break down.. Also I can't tell when I'm having a outbreak!!!! I never felt tingling or a burning sensation I only felt a bump before that's how I knew something was wrong. But I'm happy there are groups like this reading some of your stories inspired me this whole website inspires me actually.. well thank you for reading my story..any insight would be appreciated.

I'm trying to understand why your doctor failed to test you for HSV in the beginning of your pregnancy. That is standard and important protocol. Did they test you by blood or by swab? Your doctor seriously fucked up, not having you tested when you first got pregnant and I would hold her accountable for failing to have this test done.

Everyone feels the way you do when they first learn of their diagnosis. Be patient and this will pass. It is clear that your body does a good job handling the virus, so this is a major plus. You have a beautiful family, focus in that.

You don't know if he was the one who gave it to you and being you had sex during an active OB and he's not had symptoms, may be an indicator he is a carrier.

HSV 2 rarely goes to the mouth. About 1-2% of oral herpes is HSV 2 and usually seen in immune comprised patients, like HIV, so I wouldn't worry about it.

Thanks so much 2legit2quit for your insight & I wondered the same thing about my Dr but at the time soooo much was going on for me to even ask that question but I sure will... and they did a swab on the lesion at the hospital.and I don't know if this has anything to do with it but I think my immune system is ver strong I haven't got sick with like the flu or a cold for as long as I can remember

Had you not said anything about this bump, byour baby would have been born vaginally and all the things you feared they took precautions for, would have happened to your child. You need to report her! I am disgusted and appalled by her laziness and incompetence of a doctor! Things coukd have ended very differently. Had you not pointed that bump out! Shame on her! I hope she never sleeps another peaceful night, sue to get negligence! She's deplorable as a physician! I am so glad that you mentioned it and she took the right actions, after the fact at least!

80% of those w genital herpes, are asymptomatic z so it's not uncommon for you to have been unware if You don't infection all this time. Just be glad your immune system has such a great hold of it. May I ask your age? Just for my own knowledge, as I'm gathering data and noticing a trend w age and whether someone is asymptomatic or not w H, upon contracting it. Not saying its the rule, just noticing a trend.

@2legit2quit I'm 25 years old and also my doctor at the hospital wasn't the same women I have been seeing for all my prenatal appointments.& you are absolutely right I'm glad I did have them check it out. Things could've been very different. I'm most certainly lucky.

That women who has been seeing you for all your prenatal needs to be reported. You need to call the office and speak w the office manager. I also suggest you post this on health grades and other sites, under the doctors review. Save someone else from not getting as lucky as you did. Thank god your doc that delivered took immediate action. This makes me angry and I don't even have kids or know you. @wcsdancer2010 can you believe this!?

Yep... Those who seem to catch it pretty young, seem to have better control of it or be asymptomatic. That's why I asked.. Just noticed a trend w age.

Blood testing for hsv 1/2 is not standard, at least not in my state...it is not part of the std panel of bloodwork ordered for pregnancy....

Unless it's demanded, or you have an outbreak and are swabbed, you will not know.

That's bs I really think in all states it should be mandatory to be tested..!! Especially because it's such a serious threat to babies.

It should be standard. I learned years ago that I had to ask for the blood test so I make sure every time. I've moved several times within the last 12 or so months so when visiting the gym for help with an infection or just regular visit, I ask for it all. It definitely should be included. Waiting for an outbreak is cruel.

Definitely I was truly devastated. .. finding out I had herpes is one thing but finding out I could've potentially gave it to my child is in a league of its own. @lifegoeson3

@bambina3 I can tell you all my friends who have been oreggo the last decade, have had that as a standard and my friend who is a doctor said that is a standard, for reasons like this.

@2Legit2Quit

Wow! I am impressed to hear it is part of the standard pregnancy testing in your area...

I'm in the healthcare field, like I stated above, it's not standard here...not for pregnancy, not for anything...I actually rarely see hsv2 as a diagnosis, I've been more aware of it since my own disgnosis

Not area, they live all over, as I served w them and they're civilians when they had their babies. They're all over the country. Even abgirl on here recently was scared she got herpes, just 6 weeks post birth. I asked had she been tested before her and she said yes, most definitely, because of my baby, they test for herpes, so I knew w in the first trimester if I had it or not. So yeah, it happens.

Why kind of practice are you in though? OB/GYN?

@Loner29

Hello and Welcome!

First, the best thing is that your baby is healthy and you know she isn't affected by Herpes. Try to stay focused on that right now. Remember you may be dealing with Baby Blues on top of everything so PLEASE if you feel yourself getting really down, go to a NEW OBGYN and get help... your baby needs you to be in a good place for her.

Second, you can give your BF oral and he will be fine ... H stays in the NERVES in the area where you get it ... it doesn't spread through blood or saliva.

Third: Pre-natal testing is different in different areas but given you pointed out the lesion they should have tested you. AND, I'm pretty sure they didn't need to put your baby through all that testing and IV's because you had a CESAREAN! So she shouldn't have been exposed to the virus (even with a 1st OB, she was protected by the birth sack from anything and she didn't enter the birth canal). I would consult with another OBGYN ... but sounds like they did everything wrong that they could there. It's *possible* that protocol has changed since I had my kids but I've NEVER heard of a baby being put through that if they were born via cesarean. Mine just had a blood test after birth and one at 6 months as a precaution but that was it. And that was 30 yrs ago... had my second naturally too and never went though that BS with her. So I'd talk to someone and check to see if they went through current protocol.

As for sex (when you are ready) ... Well, you have been with the BF and either he already has it (and possibly gave it to YOU) or he doesn't. If he doesn't, then you may want to take more precautions in the future but I would guess that he's either been exposed and has it or gave it to you simply because of the fact that you have had these "cysts" before. Either way, I've been in a number of relationships and not passed it on. When the time comes, take him to the (NEW!) GYN with you and discuss how you want to proceed when it comes to protecting him.... but know that there are a LOT of discordant couples where one has it and the other doesn't and they never pass it on :)

I think they did all that testing Dancer because if she got infected during pregnancy, it would have had aa very bad impact on the babay and possibly even death .

@2legit2quit

The thing is, it's only an issue IF the baby comes in contact with the virus, and to my knowledge, that only happens if you have a natural birth .... and for someone who is recently exposed, their risk of shedding is that much higher that I would see those precautions (I had my 2nd naturally and they only did blood tests on her for safety because I *might* have been shedding) .... so I can understand if she had had a natural birth, but she had a cesarean. So the baby shouldn't have been exposed at all to the virus.

So unless there has been some discovery I have not heard of where the virus manages to get into the uterus and cross the placenta, I can't understand why they would put the baby through that....so my advice is that she consult someone to find out if all that was necessary ... given that they totally f*cked up regarding the testing that should have been done earlier and ignoring the "cyst".... all of which would have resulted in a better planned out, and certainly less stressful, birth experience for @Loner29....

@wcsdancer2010 , not true at all. This is from the heroes.org site. It absolutely is dangerous to the baby if infected while pregnant .

The greatest risk to the infant is in those pregnancies in which the mother develops her first genital herpes infection ever while pregnant2. In those pregnancies the risk to the baby of catching herpes simplex while in the womb is as high as 30 to 50% if the mother has the first outbreak of genital herpes during the final three months of pregnancy. This presents a very high risk to the baby, and it is a risk that can be avoided with careful attention.

Partners in which one of the partners has genital (or oral) herpes, who are planning to have children, and in which the future mother does not have genital herpes must be especially careful not to place the future mother in a situation in which she might develop a first infection with genital herpes while pregnant. For example, if the future father has genital herpes but the pregnant mother does not, it would be very wise to consult with the obstetrician prior to engaging in sexual relations during the pregnancy. Even condoms might not give satisfactory protection, as discussed elsewhere on this web site. It is also well documented that a pregnant woman having sexual contact with a new intimate partner during her pregnancy puts herself at a much higher risk of contracting primary genital herpes, and thus seriously endangering the child2.

The reasons for the increased risk to the newborn if the mother has the new onset of primary genital herpes are threefold. First, the patient sheds virus for a much longer period during primary herpes infections. Second, more viral particles are excreted during a primary infection as opposed to a recurrent infection. Finally, less antibody is transmitted from the mother to the baby during a primary infection as opposed to during a recurrent outbreak (this is called transferring “passive immunity” to the baby, which involves the transmission of antibody through the placenta from the mother to the baby)2.

In a small percentage of cases, though, it appears that the herpes virus is actually transmitted to the baby while the baby is still in the womb. However, very few cases of “in utero” transmission have been documented. One would expect that active disease would be present at the time of delivery, and this is very rare. Apparently the infection usually occurs at the time of labor and delivery in the vast majority of deliveries. Sadly, though, neither blood tests nor viral cultures performed shortly prior to delivery are reliable enough to always prevent infection of the baby2

I'll ask the OBGYN's in my office about this but this is totally new info to me and I'm pretty well read about this virus. Again, to become infected, one has to come in CONTACT with the virus. The placenta (as well as the operculum, which is the mucus plug that is in the cervix during pregnancy) should keep the virus away from the baby, so unless the mother has a break/leak in the placenta the baby should be protected....

Either way, I'm not convinced that what they did to the baby was "normal" protocol... I would assume they would observe the baby (as they did my daughter that was born naturally) and blood test them just to be sure.

They did a blood test and eye swab on bby both came back negative but insisted on doing the spinal just to be 100 % sure. Which I didn't understand. But I just wanted the best for my daughter I wanted to know she was gonna be ok. Now if I find out they didn't need to put her threw that then I'll be infuriated. I'm just relieved she's healthy. I started antivirals a couple days ago. I'm starting to accept things more although I have my moments where I'll just break down an cry for a while.. my boyfriend always asks what's wrong with me but I hate to talk about it because I get even more emotional about it. think I'm gonna be ok an b more accepting in a few months. All my friends think I have the baby blues but in all reality if I didn't have H I think I would feel just fine mentally. I love being a mother more than anything. I keep telling myself it always could b worse. Thank you all for your input @wcsdancer2010 @2legit2quit

Well I agree with your friends, at least *some* of this is likely baby blues... or at least its making you more sensitive ... but good luck with it all and keep us posted!

Not negating your feelings about H, but often those who think their current emotional turmoil is all the source of H and after going back and forth w them, they usually will come to figure out it's not H, but something else. We have a tendency to blame/project on things that we can see, as it makes the most sense. It's a lot harder to dig deep and find out where the feelings of unworthiness, anger, resentmen, guilt and sadness are coming from... Often from something we can or haven't figured out how to self reflect on. I suspect it's not actually H that's making you sad, but rather the guilt of not being aware of it and the "what if's" that surround it. I could be wrong, but just my guess. Stop blaming yourself. You did nothing wrong and you did the best you coukd to keep your baby safe,... forgive YOURSELF.

Well guys it's a year later my child's father and I split. Which killed me