Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Keeping H in perspective


Recommended Posts

So often I read words that come from pain and devastation regarding a herpes diagnosis and phrases such as "My life is over" is said. I like to ask people who say this or the likes of it "Name things that Herpes has changed in your life for you." And often the only response that can be given, is that you now have to disclose before sex. That is hardly life being over.

 

Last night I sat out on my patio talking on the phone when I heard tires screeching and a big bang, followed by sirens not long after. I figured this was just a fender bender, which seems to happen often in that crossing . I found out an hr later, this man's body had a sheet over him, laying in the median. He died on impact. This man's life is over for real. Not this made up irrational, over dramatized picture we create in our heads of our lives being over, due to H. This man will not hug another loved one. See his children. See his children have children; wake up in his bed tomorrow, live out the rest of his life w his significant other. Etc... This man's life REALLY is over. I actually heard the moment this man's life was over.

 

When you can still come to a forum to pour your heart out and express your grievances, your life is far from over. I'm sure this man would choose H over never waking to see another day. So I'm leaving this w you all, so you can keep your H diagnosis in the right perspective which is, life will go on just like the day before we got it and the only thing it really changed for me, was adding an uncomfortable discussion w a possible partner and maybe or maybe not, rejection here and there. This is coming from someone who Herpes has changed my life health wise, due to my autoimmune diseases. W that said, if I can get to this place w how many issues I have w H, you can to. Stay strong..... Herpes strong... Hugs. :-)

Link to comment
I actually heard the moment this man's life was over.

 

That's a huge reality check, eh? Glad you can at least get something "good" from the tragedy that happened on your road... which also shows that you never know how your life (or in this case, the end of your life) may affect another......

 

(((HUGS)))

 

 

Link to comment

seriously that's just awful. may the fallen be at peace. smh. I mean as you said your a few that have the pesky ongoing symptoms thats pretty much real. it is pretty silly because the worst is just knowing you have it you know just the reality of settling in to it but nothing can ever change you only we have the power for that. and those have a hard time adjusting or the newbies don't find it silly I'm not trying yo take away from them cuz its not what one wants to hear. the only thing I despise about it is everytime sex or stds pop up I get so like...ugh I dunno anxiety and think about it for a while like why why why. because there's so much ways to treat it now a days whether meds or remedys. I mean it never existing would be even better but it is in 80% of the population so it's here to stay just like every messed up disease so the best is to take it a day at a time

Link to comment

Poor guy and his poor family. In the same month of my diagnosis, ive had 2 friends lose their mothers and 2 friends lose their grandmothers. So Ive been finding myself thankful. It definitely does keep things in perspective. Yea, of course I've said this really really sucks and wish I could go back in time to that one stupid decision but I can't. I've never thought my life was over, I still have so much ahead of me. Now I never dealt with anxiety or depression before H so I'm sure those who do have a harder time with it. It sucks, it sucks bad. But I still get to pursue my career, love my family, find the love of my life (I'm sure he exists), and have children. This is just an awkward speed bump or hiccup that I'll have to deal with along the way, but that's it. Now once I have to have that first disclosure talk, I may be singing a different tune!!! We'll see lol......

Link to comment

@mandymoon and @jjj2015 , we all have moments if feeling that way and it does suck, but as I mentioned in another post, just about every living being on this earth, has their form of herpes even oysters. Who woulda think that? Acquiring a virus is a part of being a living and breathing form of life, walking this planet. I had meningitis caused by a virus when I was in my early 20s. I had 22 extra lbs of pressure on my brain and it felt like an elephant was sitting on my brain, not even my skull... The brain. Not one other person, including my husband at the time or anyone around me (I was in the military at the time) got it, but me. I picked up some virus that made it come out of the blue. I was in isolation for a week, w them trying to determine what it was and people where I worked at were freaked out and wanting to know if they needed to go through decontamination and acted weird towards me too, when I came back.. Like I was a leper. Unfortunately, it's a part of life. We will have good days w this and bad. The only thing you can do and is what I try to daily, is focus on the day I'm in regarding herpes, although a good rule of thumb for everything in life, I just simply have managed to get the herpes down to where I address it on a day to day basis.. I have stressed myself w what-if's.... It was a complete waste of time! Especially because I'd be stressing about it while dating someone, instead of enjoying myself and usually I found they were not a good fit for me. That's what made me learn to the it day, by day.. Stressing over a freaking disclosure w soneone to never be had! Lol... It was senseless! Hang in there ladies.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...