My boyfriend may have Herpes. HELP.

My boyfriend cheated on me with a girl in a closet at his school and she came to me and told me she has herpes. I have quite a few questions. First of all, what are the ways it gets transmitted. Like by licking my arm can I get it? Or if I kiss his neck? And how do I not get it. We are very sexually active.

Before you start panicking, remember she could just be completely making it up to put a wedge between you and your boyfriend. If she knew you hated her, why would she give you a potentially harmful fact like that?

Sorry you're in that position though, it sucks..

To answer your questions, it's transmitted through skin-to-skin contact in the affected area (either mouth or genital area). You need to rub one of those areas against any blister he/she might have, or if there are no blisters.. there's a small chance that his normal skin could be carrying the virus (it's called asymptomatic shedding).

Licking anyone's arm is fine, kissing his neck is fine. There isn't a 100% safe method of having sex, but you can get it to 99% safe if you use condoms, he takes anti viral tablets daily, and maybe you try to avoid excessive skin rubbing in the area he has outbreaks. DON'T have sex if he has any little blisters appear.

But.. she's probably lying (or hasn't had a medical diagnosis for a spot or something)

My thoughts were the same as @sil88 . it was the first thing that popped in my mind, because nobody goes spreading that around about themselves, especially in what I'm going to assume, is highschool.

He needs to take a trip down to planned parenthood w in 3-4 months to be tested. Till then, you may wanna refrain from sex.

BTW, do you really want to stay w soneone who is cheating on you like that? Set the precedence now when you are young, what you won't tolerate. Remember, you teach people how to treat you.

Unfortunately I can't comment too much on the cheating arena...I think we all have our reasons for doing what we do, and there are issues that need to be addressed just based on that fact alone.

Whether it's a lie or not, for your own peace of mind, get tested like the above member stated....I also refrained completely from sex until disclosure.

I would agree with what Sil88 said but do you know if she is implying she gave it to him or if she is implying that maybe he gave it to her? I would suggest that you both get tested and like 2Legit said, refrain from sex until you find out. I know it may seem hard to do that but it is necessary. Don't worry your pretty little head. She may be just messing with your head. Keep your head up.

I agree that odds are she's trying to drive a wedge between you. I also agree that you need to figure out if this was a one-time dumb mistake or if he's going to be a repeat offender....

And no, you can't get it from licking ... if he has it on his GENITALS that's where he will shed from. 😉

Also, quick facts:

80% of people have Oral HSV1

80% don't know it

60% of young people have it before Adulthood (I got it at age 4)

Oral HSV1 can transfer to the genitals via oral sex and is responsible for 50% of all new Genital Herpes diagnosis

Herpes testing is NOT on the normal STD testing panels... you have to specifically ASK for it....

As for the facts of Herpes:

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/

Herpes facts video

http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes-detailed.htm

How do people get genital herpes?

Infections are transmitted through contact with lesions, mucosal surfaces, genital secretions, or oral secretions. HSV-1 and HSV-2 can also be shed from skin that looks normal. In persons with asymptomatic HSV-2 infections, genital HSV shedding occurs on 10% of days, and on most of those days the person has no signs or symptoms. [4] Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. Transmission most commonly occurs from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected. [5]

How common is genital herpes?

CDC estimates that, annually, 776,000 people in the United States get new herpes infections.23. Genital herpes infection is common in the United States. Nationwide, 15.5 % of persons aged 14 to 49 years have HSV-2 infection. 22 The overall prevalence of genital herpes is likely higher than 15.5%, because an increasing number of genital herpes infections are caused by HSV-1. 2 HSV-1 is typically acquired in childhood; as the prevalence of HSV-1 infection has declined in recent decades, people may have become more susceptible to genital herpes from HSV-1.

How can herpes be prevented?

Correct and consistent use of latex condoms can reduce the risk of genital herpes. 19-20 However, outbreaks can occur in areas that are not covered by a condom.

The surest way to avoid transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, including genital herpes, is to abstain from sexual contact, or to be in a long-term mutually monogamous relationship with a partner who has been tested and is known to be uninfected.