Creativity

This is now when I probably feeling abit more positive or im just preparing myself for the near future but when it comes to being with someone who doesn't have herpes and you have an outbreak, how would you show your love without actually having sex? I mean I'm not saying its not possible but i'm just not creative in that way so how could you fufill something nice without infecting your partner at this stage?

I also thought to myself I don't know why I'm making such a big deal about having herpes because my life doe not revolve around relationships and sex and when I think of it like that, to me it makes me realise that all my crying and stupid thoughts were pretty pointless because I'm basically saying to myself you now you have herpes no one is going to love you or want you, when that is completly untrue as noone in this world can look at you and tell you have herpes, only if you go around telling people.

I just want to actually thank many of the people on here who took the time to read my discussions and reply because it has slowly made me lighten up and not take it so badly because really when you think about it, its cold sore in an unfortunate area but tbh one thing that also gets me through it, is the support of my great friend Sherwin who always tells me "i need to chill out and that its reality" and my mum who always says to me "don't get stressed, be happy cos if you stress out your gona get an itchy fani" that makes me laugh but it make me realise its not a big deal and it also makes me realise what a supportive mother and friend I have and how my life is going to be even better than it wa before.

As I've heard, "herpes is only a big deal if you make it one"

Everyone is creative, genussbutterfly. You just have to be open to realizing you are. ;) Ultimately, when you have a connection with someone, you're going to naturally want to explore with them, find new ways to play, find new ways to find what turns them on that doesn't always include the genitals (how boring would that be if the only intimacy you had was JUST the genitals?). You can talk about each other's sexual fantasies, nibble on each others ear lobes, bite different parts of their body, massage each other, play naked twister, silently gaze into each others eyes without breaking eye contact for 10 minutes, being vulnerable about how you feel with them in the moment, light candles and blind fold each other while lightly touching each other's bodies ... The list goes on and on. And when you're open to being vulnerable with that person, you'll find all sorts of new and fun ways to explore. And you can't quite build a list ahead of time, because a lot of what comes out of it will be a co-exploration with your partner. Since that partner isn't here (yet), you'll just have to see what they want, too, and you can explore that together in the moment. It's very fun and herpes NEVER gets in the way of true, deep intimacy. Remember that.

And as far as how to talk about a herpes outbreak while you're in a relationship, here's a video I made about how to approach the subject in a playful, not-a-big-deal way:

Thank you so much. This website has really made me happy and see this as a blessing in disguise. Great video. Thanks for all your help