My story

I was at a club in Vauxhall and met a 28 year old guy there. I was 17 at the time but of course when I go out I do not look that age. I was turning 18 In the January to come. The only reason I started talking to him was because I took off my shoes cos my feet were hurting. He was a nice warm welcoming guy who introduced me to all his friends and we danced for the majority of the night and he offered to buy me a drink. He had also met my mum and a good friend of mine who was with me. We ended the night with a kiss on the cheek.

I had decided to meet u with him the next day as I had some stuff to do around where he was living. We hung out for abit and I chilled with him for the day. He was so nice and loving towards me and thats what I was looking for.

After that day we spoke day in and day out to eachother for about a month and 2 weeks. We had met up many times in that period but we had never had sex as I wanted to wait. We discussed where we stand with eachother and we both were seeing eachother but we had boundaries as in we weren't to see other people or have sexual relations with others. I agreed with that and felt like I was in a nice relationship even though it wasn't official. I felt happy to know ok this guy is really down for me, he could be the one and this could possibly work.

It had been 2 months now and I had decided to have unprotected sex with him. With all my emotions saying hes the one, he will make you happy, give him something you had never given another man before (first guy i had unprotected sex with and only 3rd guy I had slept with since I lost my virginity) I had unprotected sex with him. It felt right and I felt so good after. We had unprotected sex the week after.

The same night I had left his house my genitals started to itch and my entry was burning. I didn't acknowledge it until come a Sunday night when I would urinate it would burn, i felt abit sick and then come Monday cold sores all around the entry and around my vulva. Bare in mind I had never heard of Genital Herpes in my life. I went to the doctors and explained the issue. The doctor had told me it looked like a urinary infection or thrush and thats what I thought it was too. I had never thought it would be herpes because I did used to get spots in that area sometimes but this was before I became sexually active. The doctor gave me Thrush cream and a pill to insert inside me and funnily enough everything going on down there wasn't so painful but the doctor then told me to go to the local GUM clinic to be sure.

I thought to myself I don't need to go, I will be fine but I still went anyway. This is when I was tested. The doctor looked straight off at my genitals and said "You may possibly have Genital Herpes". I cried. It wsn't even diagnosed yet but I thought to myself cmon me why me and I cried so much when I came out the hospital I threw up, a man had to get me on the bus and get me home. I was a nervous wreck.

I told my mum and she knew instantly I got it from him. She was abit upset but she saw it as a lesson for me and I knew I had her support. I had to ring the guy and tell him that he has genital herpes and needs to go and get checked. He went and got checked, and he didnt know who he got it from and never had any symptoms. The woman explained some stuff to him about the virus and we discussed how were gona move forward as he knew how distressed I was about the situation.

I think if it wasn't for him being their for me I wouldv'e ended my life and till now Im not seeing him anymore but I still cry myself to sleep and think about how stupid I was to let something like that happen. I do blame myself and I have even gone to extreme lengths as to only date people with herpes or not have sex ever again. Sometimes I don't even want to be touched.

I just hate that our relationship ended so badly because as soon as this whole herpes thing came up things started to change, but I blame myself for the realtionship not working because of my negativity about herpes and my misconceptions and how ive ruined the rest of my life. He was so cool about it and try to make me beyond the negativity but It just wasn't happening.

I told one person who is a very close friend of mine and he was so supportive and I love himever so much for that. But it was a complete shock to me. I never thought I would be the one to get one.

I just hope that I get some replies to inspire me and help me live my life and stop beating myself up about somthing so small.

Genussbuterfly welcome I'm really glad you found us especially in your time of need. I'm sorry your going threw this. Icaught HSV1 in the first week of September. My sorry is alil different though. Iwas with someone for 1 and 1/2 years and went on a trip for a week to Washington at the end of August. The day after Icame back ibroke up with him and imet someone new that day and hooked up with him after a party that he djed at and igogoed at. The next day he asked me out. A week later it started hurting down there and ihad blisters iwent to the doctor and right away when she looked at it she told me it looks like herpes. My world ccame crashing down. Iwas miserable and couldn't even look at myself. Ifound this website and looked at people story's and people helped me. Iam now able to look at myself in the mirror and Ijust remind myself that its just a skin condtion and SOOOOO many people in the world have it and anyone can get it. My giver wasn't supportive denied he face it to me and when we would break up he would throw it in my face "Ihope everytome you have an OB you think of me". Girl its going to be ok :) there's so many people you can talk to on here and get a support system going!!! My ex came back into my life and were back together. He knows ihave H itold him before we got back together. Iwas stupid and made a dumb choice to have unprotected sex during an OB he knew iwas having an OB and he contracted it as well. Iblamed myself for a little bit about it but its a lesson learned. We all make mistakes don't beat yourself up!!! If you want you can message me if you want n H buddy :)

Your friend

Tiff

Thank you so much and yes I would like you to be my H buddy. I just need to seriously get over it.

Sweetie STOP beating yourself up..there is no reason to. You did nothing wrong and yes it is a small skin condition that happens to flare up sometimes. Everyone here has it and we are all pretty awesome...join the club of H awesomeness ;-)!

It really is going to be ok...keep in touch on here so we can be there for you. I consciously chose to be with a man who had H because I loved him and I had HPV (from a cheating ex husband) so who was I to judge or reject him? We aren't together now and I don't regret my time with him.

It has been a process for me to get back to a good place but I have learned is it is all in the thoughts you choose..so give up the blame and being unkind to yourself..and instead start working on being the best you can be so you shine brighter than H :-).

You can message me to if you need to as well...:-) x

Thanks Lelani. Your like my H best friend I dont ever see xx