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Has anyone on here contracted herpes from someone who you knew had it, but chose to take the risk?


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I am curious to hear from current/ex partners who chose to have relations w someone they knew was infectedinfected and how they felt once they learned they were infected?

 

-Were you devastated?

- did you feel resentment towards the other person?

- have you ever fought dirty and threw it in their face when hurt/angry?

- do you regret taking that risk and had you know now what you do, would you go back and choose not to take that risk?

- was it hard to get passed be in infected?

- did you secretly harbor anger for them?

 

No judgment on my part. I just like to prepare myself for worse case scenarios, in the event I ever have to deal w it. Thanks so much for your input, it is much appreciated.

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I guess my situation is similar to this. I wasn't disclosed to but saw that my boyfriend at the time (now husband) was getting cold sores about 6 months into our relationship. After confronting him on it, he said he had it since he was a kid. Since we had not used protection up to that point, I figured I was already exposed and nothing changed between us precaution wise. I will admit at the time we thought we were safe as long as he was not having an outbreak (this was over 15 yrs ago). A few months later I had my first (genital) outbreak.

 

-I wasn't devastated when I was diagnosed for two reasons. One we were already planning a wedding. Two, I took a risk. I knew he had the virus. I didn't necessarily know all the facts and yet I can't blame him for that.

 

-I dont resent him for it

 

- I've never thrown it in his face when I was angry BUT he has thrown it in mine- that kind of leads to your next question.

 

- The only time I've regretted taking that risk was when HE brought it up during fights. What if I had it all along and just didn't know? or.. What if I've given it to him genitally after all these years and now hes doubly infected? We even had a fight where there were people present and he's made a snide crack about having genital herpes. I don't regret that I took the risk with him because of the virus, but because as you can see he doesn't always have the best character. So.. that being said, I took the risk because I loved him, and I don't regret taking that risk, but maybe my choice in partners. If it was not for the other issues we have, I would definitely take that risk again.

 

- It was not hard for me to get past being infected. I was in a relationship with my giver and it didn't change things for us. We were married, had three (H-) children, and life just went on.

 

- We are currently having issues in our marriage, and are separated at the time. I can honestly, and without a doubt, say that any anger I harbor towards him has nothing to do with HSV.

 

I hope that this post will alleviate some of your worries.

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MMissouri wow, thanks so much for sharing your story, I appreciate that a lot. I am so sorry he treated you that way, that is awful. You did not deserve that, especially being you never through it in his face.

 

Did he act paranoid and weird w you after you got it? Like he didn't want to be infected? Did he ever get it? Did you take any precautions?

 

Hope you're hanging in there w all that. I'm sure you are now worried about having to go through disclosure, now that you're separated. You only deserve the best, I am so sorry.

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You're welcome!

 

He was not paranoid or weird at all. He was sympathetic during the first OB, then we both just accepted it for what it was. He did get tested for genital herpes after I was diagnosed because I insisted. They did a swab. He came back negative of course, he had no lesions or anything to swab. As for a blood test, no one mentioned it to us as an option at that time. (Insert the what if it isn't HSV1 but HSV2 worries here) He has never had an OB genitally. We have never used protection. The only time I used antivirals was for the the initial OB and last few weeks of my pregnancies.

 

But as far as your post goes, I don't have any regrets. Am I scared at starting over? Heck yes lol.

 

 

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Are you going to go get it typed? I think you should, the unknown is never fun. Plus you can feel nice dropping that info in his lap, that he gave it to you. He just did that to use to flip on you and as a power play.

 

Do you have symptom's or obs regularly?

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Yes I am. I joined this forum to gear myself up for two things, testing and disclosure. My life just seems to get into the way of it. It really isn't on my mind unless I'm on the forum or someone makes a joke about it. I'll forget about it for weeks and then something will trigger the thought of oh.. I really should get that testing done. When I think of starting over, I think OMG my body is not the best, I've had three kids, I'm getting old.. not OMG I have herpes! Funny how that works.

 

I don't have OBs regularly. I usually itch and nothing else happens. It's very rare that I ever see a blister- If I do, it's usually just one, and that's gone within a few days.

 

 

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Hahahaha! That made me laugh! Yeah, I needed something light and silly for a screen name and figured it would give other's a giggle.

 

Well I haven't had kids myself, but I recently put weight on, so I don't even wanna date. I'd focus on you riht now and not to worry too much about that. We are always much harder on ourselves, than how others really see us. Glad you don't deal w many symptoms. I do all the time, so I don't go a day w out thinking about it, but I can go a work day now w out thinking about it... So hey, 4-8hrs of forgetting is better than nothing, because it used to be every second.

 

The virus did a number to my nerves and because my immune system is in hyper mode from my autoimmune diseases, I believe it's constantly attacking my infected nerves and damaging the sheathing on them, cause paresthesia and neuralgia.

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I'm sorry to hear you are having constant symptoms. Hopefully with time they will lessen. I don't know how new you are to the virus?

 

4-8 hrs is a great start! I really think the busier we are, the less we focus on it. Time really does help. We adjust and move on.

 

Thanks for the positive thoughts. :) I'm not ready for dating yet either and decided not to worry about it until I am.

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Meh... Better than what it used to be..I will have had it for a yr in July.

 

That's what I had to do myself... I was obsessed w worrying about all these what ifs, when I wasn't even there yet. Then I'd date a guy and stress so bad. Then I'd not like the guy and I realized, how stupid it was to worry till it got to the point like hey, I like you... I can see this working and getting serious

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