It gets better

Hi everyone,

I've been reading a lot for the past few months and learned a lot from this forum. When I felt really down, I would come back and read some of the success stories to inspire me. So far I have had 4 OBs and they all were not that bad, it was just a minor skin infection that comes up from time to time. Physically, I was okay but emotionally, it was bad :(. So here are some things I wanna share with you guys which kinda helped me emotionally.

1. Tell someone you trust. I've kept the H secret for some time and it was awful. I've disclosed my sister and a few friends, even the ex and turned out that everyone was so supportive about it. It really puts your mind at ease when you no longer have to keep it to yourself.

2. Get a H buddy. Sometimes you might feel like others wouldn't know how you feel because they don't have it. Find a H buddy, talk to someone who can relate to your condition. I've met so many nice people on this forum.

3. Keep a journal. When you're new to H, the only thing that you can think of it H. It tends to run you down emotionally. Write about it. What makes you feel so bad? Is it the symptoms or the stigma that you have put on yourself? I've found that it really helps to write about the good things in life as well. Every time when I'm in a good mood I would write something to remind me and inspire myself so when I feel down I can come back and reread it.

4. Pay attention to your body. It takes time for the body to adjust to the virus, it's a good time to pay more attention to your body. Learn what triggers your OB. Try new remedies that works best for you. When it does flare up, don't worry so much about it. Tell yourself that you will beat it next time. I remember every time when I got an OB I would panic and write to Dancer LOL.

As for the relationship part, I have still to learn. I have commitment issues which is not H related but as for the single life, I'm doing very well. It doesn't matter how old you are when you got infected or who gave it to whom. Nobody can turn back time, nobody can undo what is already done so accept it as a part of your life. There are so many people out there that are living with a least 1 kind of disease and they can still manage. It does get better over time when you can look pass the stigmas. Remember that you're not alone...

This is beautifully written and you made some fantastic points that I really find to be true to help. Thankfully I have been doing most of these things. You're right this is just a part of life and everyone out there is at least dealing with some sort of disease.

Such great points! Going to add this to my arsenal of "support" links for the newbies .... and soo happy to see how far you have come ... :)

(((HUGS)))

Thank you :) I'm just stating the obvious.

Thank you for this. I just received my HSV1 diagnosis today. I had googled so much that I've been preparing for it for about a week beforehand. One day, I am freaked out/depressed and the next I am like why is there such a fuss about skin irritation that can exist on other parts of the body w/ little to no stigma?

But today I found out for sure and today I have to tell boyfriend. We have had a wonderful 5+ month relationship, and were friends (w/ benefits) for about a 1.5 year before that. He has an 8 year old son and things are going really well with all 3 of us. He is wonderful and I adore him. We've both shared about being tested for things (obvi not HSV for me & possibly for him) and all with negative tests. I honestly don't know how he's going to react and I am scared to death. Mostly scared about losing him and then also about the feelings of shame that may come on again.

In the beginning we had protected sex but that certainly changed (no sex since any suspicion on my part). I don't think I had any outbreaks (reading things, now I am not sure, like itching, etc.) but certainly unknowingly if so when we had sex. I am worried about his health (and for a while his son's) and of course our future. I was really hoping and sensing that this would be a long term thing between us.

I need some talking points. Could you all help me out?

You don't think you had any outbreaks... so you've had a blood test which said you're positive for hsv1. That would be the case for 80% of the world population. What made you get that test?