Herpes is really just another lesson in life ...

Hi everyone,

I love your viewpoint, lelani. You ARE inspiring. By loving yourself, you provide an openness for others to do the same, especially when they have somehow convinced themselves that they're unlovable. Let's put our energy into this instead of the negativity of worry and shame. That's the decision point: focusing on what's lovable in us or focusing on what's not. Whatever gets focused on expands. And it convinces others of the same.

Looking forward to having you be a part of (h) group! Can you make it to the next one? Something tells me you'll be an inspiration there, too. ;) Feels good to have you be a part of what we are doing here, lelani. 

I love your confidence and self empowerment lelani! Wow, you are so amazing and such an inspiration to other people. Thank you for posting such a beautiful message about this, a message that so many people need to hear. I would say I wish you the best of luck in your future relationships, but it doesn't really sound like you need it. Although you said your physical symptoms haven't gone away yet, keep a positive mindset! I believe that your mindset and feelings are as powerful as any kind of medicine to cure any physical symptoms; I'm sure soon your body will soon be reaping the benefits of all of your self-love and positivity :)

you are so right Elle...the awful times pass and there are always wonderful things around the corner. From wondering how anyone would want me again I have just spent another afternoon with my recently returned ex lover (I didn't have H when we were together) , who accepts and loves being with me - we are not each others 'one', we just enjoy each other and are lucky enough to be able to spend some time together before he goes overseas . He is teaching me to enjoy my body again and feel ok about having H - for that reason he will always be special to me. I accepted H in a boyfriend and got it, now someone is accepting me - we are out there...people who are not afraid, who take worthwhile risks and truly love. And those who cannot be like this aren't worth having in your life H or no H - H just weeds them out quicker!

All my support back elle :-)

I am new and just found out I have both hsv 1 and 2 .....The problem is I've been celebate for three years now and have never had a symptom....WTH my doctor was very nonchalant and said he would not prescribe me anything until I have a break out...what abt asymptomatic shedding and I don't plan on being celebate forever...I know this virus is widespread amongst black woman and as a black woman I can hardly see any black man wanting me at this point....Never had a fever blister/cold sore nothing

Hey MileyK, first off, that's insane that your doc won't prescribe you medication. You're right about asymptomatic shedding. Taking suppressive therapy cuts down on that tremendously. I'd go to a different doctor ... one that's more knowledgeable about the basics of this sort of thing. 

Second, please don't fall into the trap of feeling like no one is going to want you. And yes, 48% of black women 14-49 years old has HSV2. You're nearly in the majority! ;) It's an easy trap to fall into, feeling like no one will want you, but that could easily turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy by you making that true. There are plenty of people out there where a herpes diagnosis doesn't phase them (my girlfriend, for one), and by assuming no one will want you, you're essentially pre-rejecting yourself from all those guys out there who'd love to be with you. 

Hang in there. I know it's rough at the beginning, but eventually you'll realize that it's not the big deal that we hear that it is. It's only a big deal if you make it one. 

I have issues with the claim that 48% of black women 14-49 year old have HSV2. Please check out this link which sheds light on that CDC "study":

http://www.alumniroundup.com/2010/10/black-america-allows-the-cdc-to-stack-herpes-numbers-the-truth-behind-the-statistics/

Interesting article. Thanks for sharing, healing! I agree that it's a good idea to keep a watchful eye over what numbers are given to us and how those numbers are obtained. And unfortunately I don't think the CDC will ever see this as an epidemic, regardless of how many people have herpes because it doesn't have any long-term negative health effects. I wonder what they would come up with if they did a current, more full-fledged study, but alas the money to fund such an undertaking simply isn't there for herpes research. Double-edged sword: Health community is convinced it's not a big deal (at all) and yet our society's stigma around herpes tells us it's a huge deal. Sad, unfair paradox if you ask me.