herpes on face

I have herpes on my face now i,m afraid to hug my wife or kiss her.To make things worest I have a sex addition an got herpes by cheating.I am in counseling and trying to deal with both issues.My wife says we,ll work it out but i,m18yrs older than her and i,m afraid of what she will have to deal with once i passhow do other couples handle thi problem

@jjjim15

Hello and Welcome!

First - I would *assume* you mean HSV1?

So, here's a straight up fact. 80% of people have HSV1 orally ... it's just that 80% of those people don't know it. I've had it since I was 4 year old ... in fact, 60% of all young people will have it by the time they are young adults. So as far as having oral herpes is concerned, it's just an accepted thing that a large part of the population already has.

Are you sure you got it from your indiscretion? If you were tested by blood at the time that you had your first outbreak, and it came up positive, then odds are you already had it and the STRESS of what you did (guilt/etc) is what brought out the virus. It's not at all uncommon for a person to carry the virus for years before their first OB (outbreak).

You DO have to be careful with oral sex, because you could pass it to her that way ... 50% of all new cases of genital cases are from oral sex... so you definitely want to be cautious about not giving oral play when you have *any* feeling that you may be having an outbreak. This doesn't mean you never can give her oral ... but you need to learn your prodromes and if she has any irritation down there (from shaving, rough sex, whatever) then you also want to avoid oral ... it's all about being aware of your bodies and being sensible. You can also go on antivirals if you are having a lot of OB's... which will help to protect her too.

I'll post a bunch of links below for you to read - you want to get educated about this ... education is your best defense :)

http://herpeslife.com/hsv-1-hsv-2-types-of-herpes/

http://herpeslife.com/genital-hsv-1-herpes-and-oral-sex/

http://herpeslife.com/how-can-you-get-herpes/

http://herpeslife.com/disclosing-cold-sores-oral-herpes-hsv-1-to-potential-partners-before-kissing/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-prodrome-symptoms

http://herpeslife.com/what-is-herpes-asymptomatic-viral-shedding/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2188/herpes-viral-shedding

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

what i should have said is that no antibodies show up in my blood work.dose anyone else have this problem.

If you have no antibodies yet it may mean you've had herpes less than 3 months.It takes about that amount of time until you have enough that are detectable.Get tested again in another month or two.

@ihaveittoo is right - if you were just exposed you the antibodies wouldn't show up...

If it's been longer than 6 months, what makes you feel you have herpes on your face? Where is it and what are your symptoms?

If you are not showing up on the standard Elissa IgG or Immunoblot (the 2 most used tests) and you have pretty definitive symptoms, you will want to call Westover Heights Clinic and talk to their specialists and probably get them to prescribe the Western Blot test ... it's the Gold Standard of Herpes testing (looks for 14 proteins rather than 1 or 2) ... they charge $5/minute for a phone consult and you will likely have to pay for the test out of pocket but it would give you a definite result.

Dr. Lisa Taulbee

Westover Heights Clinic

http://westoverheights.com/

(503) 226-6678 ...

They can order the test for you through Quest Labs. It costs $5/minute for a consult … cheap IMO for clarity and/or peace of mind.