Sex as trigger for herpes outbreaks?

For those of you who get ob's after sex, is it hit or miss, or is it a given that these bastards show up after some fun?

I realize everyone reacts differently, but what is your story? Does it get better with time as the body builds up its defense? Until now it appears I can eat anything I want and stay clear, but sex apparently brings it on. :( I could live without chocolate if I had to, but no sex? Hell no!!

I guess I should add that I'm a guy diagnosed with GHSV2 less than two months ago.

I would say you're not alone... In 1 year I've had 3 ob's (including initial) and they all seem to have shown up a day after sex. I really do hope it gets better because that would be insane if that was the main trigger.

Ive had prodrome feelings after sex, but no o.b.

if u wanted tho, i suppose u could pop an extra antiviral cple hrs befor having sex, might help...

Thats what im going to have to do for my time of the month.....

but im sure itll die down soon... your body is still so new to this. Should stop bring a problem after a couple months..

Well Who, then you definitely know how I feel. I was pretty much fine with having H the last couple of weeks, until now. This sucks royally!! It better not be my destiny to go through this every time I have sex.

I have been off the meds since my initial ob, even during this ob as it has been rather minor, and was hoping I could stay that way. Now that may not be the case if sex is gonna cause this shit to come back.

Arghh, so frustrated now!! With myself for skipping the rubber that dreadful night, and for the chick for not saying anything. Anyone have a time capsule for sale? I'll pay good money.

We did go pretty hard at it and did not use any lube since that's never an issue for her. Maybe slow and lubed is gonna have to be the way going forward. :(

Over time it should get better ... I've had it 35 yrs and had plenty of great, OB-free sex :)

Patience grasshopper, patience! You are ONLY 2 months in. Your body needs time to learn to control it, YOU need to learn what sets it off. In the meantime, use plenty of lube and don't get too rough ... that will help...

Are you using condoms. It's possible that if it has a spermacidal jelly that maybe irritating you too ... or the latex... so maybe try a different kind?

Yes, I used a Durex natural rubber/latex condom. Not sure if spermacide or not. I was thinking that the condom may have contributed to the ob, and out of a pure friction standpoint going "naked" might have helped. But then obviously I would have risked infecting her even more, something I obviously don't want. Talk about a catch 22. :(

And yeah, we talked about it last night and we both agree that it's not worth to either one of us to keep having sex as it's not a committed relationship. I am going to give my body time to adjust to this and wait until I am in a solid, committed relationship again before getting into the fun again. It definitely sucks, but I have to face the consequence of my careless action a couple of months ago.

Well, I am far from being a prude but I have to say that I think you will find that your outlook around sex gets BETTER now ... I see that happen here every day ;)

Sex is a beautiful thing ... and while a FWB relationship is nice, it's just not the same as sex with someone in a committed relationship :)

At least your having sex. I'm a month in and my vagina won't behave long enough for me to have sex. Hell. I can't even masturbate.

@This_sucks

I can't remember if you have a partner but if you do, look into other means of intimacy like Tantric Sex ... you may find that if you can find other ways to be intimate, that things settle down a bit faster too ... getting some "happy" chemicals coursing in the body usually helps with healing and given that H LOVES stress, whatever you can to do show yourself that you CAN find pleasure and joy will help to make the little bugger go into hiding :)

I am really glad this post came up because every time I have sex I get an outbreak so far. It is the only thing that gets me down about this. I don't know how to prevent it or how to make it better or less likely.

I don't know how to prevent it or how to make it better or less likely.

Go slow ... LOTS of foreplay. LOTS of lube. Nix rough sex for awhile if you can. Find other ways to play. This is an OPPORTUNITY to learn other ways to please and be pleased... so take advantage of it!

Well first off it is a lifeform that uses sex to expand its territory so its logical that sex could bring it out of dormacy. Plus the firing of the nerves could be a signaling device.

Might i suggest some, er solo practice to learn reaction?

Also look into a good water based lube, everything works better with proper lubrication ;)

I havent looked yet but are there lubes with antiviral properties?

Vivagel. Australian firm has am antiviral lubed condom

That condom just made the news recently... evidently they use the antiviral for BV over here (I think that is what they used it for) but not for Herpes (yet... maybe once the condom has some success in Aussie land they may widen the "allowed" usage to expand....).

Well, it happened again. After starting on AV a few weeks ago things had been going quite well with only one "bump" in the road in the past two weeks or so. I was finally clear to go and was anxious to see how well the AVs would work against after-sex ob's. Turns out, in my case, they didn't stop me from getting three blisters. This despite she being very wet, using lots of lube, going slow, on purpose keeping the intercourse short and popping a pill after the act as preventative measures. I was good thorough out the day (kept checking for any blisters) and it was until about 24 hrs later they all of a sudden appeared.

Now, I did masturbate a couple of hours before they appeared and I did have half a dozen of tasty Krispy Kremes so I am hoping that the added friction from masturbating and the high amount of sugar may have been part of the problem.

The good part is that after putting tee trea oil the sores and another AV pill it looks like they have started to heal up rather quickly.

She really wanted to have sex again yesterday (so did I of course) so it was very disappointing having to tell her of what was going on. She is a very understanding and supporting woman and all she said was "well, I guess I will just have to kiss you and then fall asleep in your arms". I feel very fortunate to have someone this understanding and patient early on in my diagnosis, and we aren't even in a committed relationship.

For those of you who have experienced ob's after sex, did it get any better with time? I'm seven months into this ordeal.

I really don't have an issue with the fact that I have herpes and I am not particularly afraid of disclosing, but my concern is how this will affect my sex life going forward. Especially as I would like for the next woman I meet to be the mother of my children. I really don't see how we would even have a chance to conceive if I am to get an ob each and every time we have sex, especially as I am away from home six months out of the year. Doesn't leave a whole lot of chances getting someone pregnant and still protecting them from getting H.

I know this sounds rather exteme, but has anyone ever heard of using artificial insemination in the case of herpes, solely trying to prevent transmitting it to a partner?

hi everybody.. i understad u A LOT.. i cant use condoms like DUREX ... i only can use TROYANS if i use DUREX i get sick .. the next day i feel weird.. and i put cream ) aciclovyr= to stop the sintoms and it works.. but if i used TROYANS i feel nice and healthy.. i hace almost 4 years with this .. H. but day by day is more soft and sometimes i forget my tragedy . be stronge . hugs

@Ihaveittoo1975

It should get better with time. You shouldn't need to use AI either .... don't know anyone who has done this ... as you learn your symptoms and your body gets better control you should be able to have sex w/o a condom and have a minimal risk of passing it on ... remember you are still in the "early days" and your body is still adjusting....

(((HUGS)))

@wcsdancer2010

I sure do hope you are right about tings improving by time. I guess I just don't quite have the patience for it. I just want to get back to a as normal as possible sex life, any other triggers I can deal with. And honestly my concern is really not about myself, it's how it will affect a potential partner dealing with a "restricted" sex life.

The thing about my symptoms is that I now rarely have any symptoms besides the blisters, especially not now after starting to take AV. I guess my body is really good at masking my other symptoms (i there any at all), which is weird since it still since very sensitive as far as getting obs. The discomfort in my lymph nodes, left leg and balls I used to feel have pretty much dissipated, even during an ob. This is obviously a good thing, and if I could only get the sex triggered obs under control my life would pretty much return to normal. Santa Claus, is that too much to ask for? I have been (mostly) a good boy. :)

Ok - here's the thing about the "Restricted" sex life, as you call it. I dated a guy who had ED .. which often led to days where the plumbing just didn't cooperate .(ie: Restricted" days) Personally, I didn't mind that a bit because he was rather - er - gifted in other ways so it made it sorta nice to almost be forced to get creative :)

This link had some pretty great ideas of how to get yer freak on in other ways :)

http://herpeslife.com/keeping-your-partner-herpes-free-can-be-super-sexy/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5807/list-the-ways-to-protect-my-partner-from-getting-herpes-hsv2 Safe alternatives to sex

I really do enjoy giving pleasure to my partner more than I need the pleasure myself, but for some reason I feel there is no real substitute for actual intercourse when it comes to feeling that intense connection. My current "lady" company enjoys when I use my imagination when intercourse is out of the question, and I thoroughly enjoy pleasing her, but it always feels as something is missing.

I guess I am having a hard time adjusting to the fact that my sex life is forever changed. I now tend to shy away from any conversation involving sex, and it makes me "sad" to watch sex scenes in movies. I really, really miss my old sex life. Again, I would feel a million times better if having sex was not a trigger for me. Clinging to hope that it's only temporary is tough, I want to know. If I knew that in six months or a year things would be "normal" again it wouldn't really be an issue, but the uncertainty with H in regards to everything, makes it very difficult. It's gonna be a long process to adjust.

Interesting ... for me oral sex is more "intimate" ... so perhaps your lady friend feels the same... have you asked HER about how she feels when you can't have intercourse? You may be surprised at the answer :)

Hopefully over time you will also come to be ok with intimacy being whatever it is on that day... because really, it's not about dicks and vaginas ... intimacy is about just plain being close to another in a vulnerable state ... or as I like to put it

Intimacy = Into Me See ..... ;)

(((HUGS)))

As much as she enjoys the other stuff we do, she definitely misses the intercourse too. Even when we have been able to have it post H it has been far from what it used to be. As I am so afraid that any kind of pace will trigger an ob I have a really hard time relaxing and enjoying the moment. Again, she is very patient and supportive, I just hate not being able to please her like I used to. Makes me feel less manly, which has never been an issue before. :(

Have you tried switching meds? Acyclovir did nothing for me besides make me feel crappy all over. I would still get papercut obs after sex while taking it. Am now on my 3rd bottle of valacyclovir, and have finally reached a normal feeling place again. It's great and I'll never take it for granted again. I've also been having some vigorous romps appx twice a wk, still no obs knock on wood. So hang in there, it gets better. I would recommend switching meds if you can. Also, maybe I'm nuts but I think sex is actually better now. Somehow H has made things a lot more sensitive so it feels better than before. At first I thought maybe it was in my mind, but my bf is positive too and he says the same thing. So don't despair, just keep trying new things till you find what works for you.

@sadpanda

I did not take any meds for the first six months post dx, but since three weeks I have been taking Valtrex and I was really hoping it was going to take care of the post sex obs, but it apeears it did not. Due to the ensuing ob I have only had sex once while on meds, maybe it will be a while before it takes full effect. It pretty much stopped my continuous obs, but again, sexy times triggered it.

As far as sensitivity goes, I did feel a heightened sensation during masturbation right after being diagnosed, but that has since subsided.

Another question. Do you guys think condoms lessens the friction, or makes it worse? Of course there would be more direct skin to skin rubbing, but maybe the "enclosement" with the condom irritates the skin too. I'm thinking of if I were to be with another H+ partner and transmitting was not an issue.