Scared of having the Herpes Talk

Goodness, it's been a year since I started dating my giver and have been diagnosed . We have since broke up and I've been trying my best to accept what has happened and move on . I've tried dating, but things have always ended so abruptly . I've been dating this one guy since May, non-exclusively, and it's been great . He's NOT pushy at all and understands boundaries . His friends, however, aren't making things easy by getting in his head and telling him I'm leading him on because I won't make it official . Well, there's a reason, he knows that - he just doesn't know what that reason is . I've been thinking about it a lot lately, and I really want to finally let him in, BUT ... all I can do is think about getting rejected . I've been hurt by my giver, and another person I loved so much, I don't want to get hurt AGAIN ... UGH - whenever I think about it, I just want to push him away, and keep him at arms length .. BUT then I think of how wonderful a person he is, and how accepting he has been thus far, maybe he can accept me for the worse too . IDK - it's WAY too much to handle some times . He's going away for 2 weeks, and I was wondering if I should tell him on the day we're suppose to see each other before he leaves . Maybe that will give him some time while he's away to digest it and make his decision without any pressure, but then I don't want that weighing on his mind while he's gone . I've tried to talk to my friends about it, but NONE of them understand, NONE of them have what I do . I've accepted that I have herpes, I can't change it . It happened to me, but it's not who I am . Everyone I have shared it with has been so accepting and understanding, it's made having herpes a little easier . I'm hoping he accepts me ... UGH, just thinking about it makes my head hurt . I'm not ready to be vulnerable again .

CAS,

So glad you are here. Have you taken a look at Adrial's disclosure e-book? If not, definitely do that. It is full of great advice on the how and when and what to say...

I'd also check out some of our disclosure success stories on that boards. SO MANY have gone before you and I know they would be honored to support a sister! Send someone a private message if their story resonates with yours and see if you might be able to practice with him/her.

Begin with loving and supporting yourself in taking this next step. You will know when it's time for you to share this part of yourself with your new guy.

Warm hugs,

Kristin

P.s. you can also go back to the homepage and sign up for a time to talk to Adrial. He is an amazing support!