From a herpes veteran

Hi to all, I am new to all of you. I have had genital herpes for 34 years. Originally got it from a cheating first husband. I too went through all that you are going through. Then as years went by, it became less, and less of a focus in my life. My second husband knew before we married, never was a topic with us. No, he did not get it after 14 years with him. Married the 3rd time and never told him, as we married as traveling buddies, no sex, so it was never needed to be discussed. I have now met someone, I am now 62. Have just told him, & he too, is not concerned. Yes it is wonderful to take that stress out of your life. To find someone who truly loves you as a person. Just had to add my years of living with the knowledge of have herpes.

This discussion was created from comments split from: I had the herpes talk. And he said.....

First - Welcome!!!!

Glad to have another "Old Timer" here ... I'm a 35 yr veteran ... it is soooo helpful for people to hear from us that life DOES go one, and they CAN find love and live a wonderful life...

We'd love it if you could chime in when you can to give the newly diagnosed some inspiration and hope ;)

(((HUGS)))

I am not sure if 3 years in qualifies me as a "veteran" but herpes is such a small part of my life. Most days I don't even think about it. The only time it really comes up is when I have an OB and even then, no big deal. I use that time as an excuse to baby myself. I am with a partner who doesn't have herpes and could care less that I do. It never comes up for discussion between us unless I am having an OB. As a couple it's not even on our radar. There is life after the diagnosis. There does come a time when herpes is not on your mind all the time and your self worth is not tied to the fact that you have coldsores on your whatsit. I hope for everyone that we can get to the point where having genital herpes is the same as having coldsores on your face - a minor annoyance and something that just happens. All a part of living. And we all know in the big picture, of all the things you could have to deal with health wise, this is the easiest one to deal with. And to be honest, herpes has actually made my life so much richer and helped me heal in so many ways that I wouldn't change a single thing about getting it. In fact, I am grateful for all the gifts.

Brenda

Aw, good to have you back, Brenda! We'll be thinking of you at the H Opp weekend in exactly 2 weeks from now! (There will be a few more people from Canada, so you will be at least somewhat represented.) :) Big hugs!