*Exhale* Finally!!! Herpes talk success!

Okay, so I kept my word and had the talk with Him this past Sunday! (My first ever disclosure!)

I can't say thank you enough for all of your words of encouragement, stories shared, advice given- it all made me feel a little stronger and a little less alone. You all are the bomb(est) ;)

Long story short: Why the hell did I allow fear to suffocate my happiness for so long?? That's all it was. The fear was so much more disabling than hsv could ever be!

He received and responded to my information with genuine compassion and understanding. He was less concerned with how it would affect him and more concerned with my own well being, emotional/physical health, and how I was coping with everything.

He told me that he respected me even more than he did before. Said he admired my strength and courage and that I was rare. He let me know that I had nothing to be embarrassed about and even mentioned that it could have been a lot worse.

We had a really deep connecting conversation about life, lessons, and how we can either be trampled by situations like these or triumph over them. (I'm trying to be a reflection of the latter!)

He thanked me for giving him the chance to decide, saying that he knows I wasn't given that chance. I responded saying "I don't want you to feel pressured or obligated to say anything your unsure of so just take your time and let me know".

In the end he continuously commended me for my honesty and maturity and how much he appreciated that. He said that I'm an amazing woman that he doesn't see me any differently, and that his feelings haven't changed. We even went on to talk about other random things as if I hadn't just dropped a bomb. To him, I really hadn't.

The next day I got a text saying: "I want you to know that I think you are one of the coolest people I've met in my life... you're rare."

& That is long story short haha.

Now, I didn't post this as a success right away because I really wasn't sure. He said really compassionate things about me as an individual, but they didn't explicitly have to do with us and the future of our relationship (if any). I was still skeptical and maybe in disbelief at the fact that my fears were all wrong- all a lie. So even with the truth in my face, I couldn't believe it.

Moreover, my emotions were all over the place. Not because of him, but because I have never felt so naked in my life (not even while actually naked lol). That feeling of raw vulnerability was something so foreign to me and I didn't know how to handle it. & It took me a few days to see that there was power in my vulnerability.

Anyways, since that initial conversation, He has been absolutely amazing. We share a connection that can't even be put into words.

Whether this will be my first and last disclosure, only time will tell. What I do know is that hsv has been a blessing in disguise. It has confined my potential partners to those who beam with empathy and compassion, those who are open-minded, risk-taking, and see the human despite the circumstance. Allll of these qualities are things that I should have never compromised- Hsv gives me no choice but to accept nothing less than everything I am worthy of. The search was harder but the find is 10 times more rewarding and meaningful.

More importantly- boy aside:

My awesomeness eclipses all of my unchangeable "flaws".

Hsv taught me that.

& That my friends, is a liberating realization.

I am no longer waiting to exhale. Ever. I'm going to breathe through it all. The good, the bad. Just breathe. One day at a time.

Xo.

Smiling from ear to ear over here!!!! Sooooo proud of you and soooo happy for you!

It took me a few days to see that there was power in my vulnerability.

YES!!! YES!!! YES!!!!

Guess I have another link for my Success Stories :)

(((HUGS)))

Wow Aimi! Looks like you've found yourself someone really special!

Reading stories like yours is giving me the courage to think about disclosing for the first time myself... which not too long ago seemed like the most impossible thing in the world.

You go girl!

Yessss, Thank you for your support Dancer! You don't even know.

I am feeling soooo free in a million different ways!

& FlyingPig, you can do it! I promise you, it's not nearly as scary as we imagine it to be. We torture ourselves with our fears, anxiety, and unwarranted feelings of inadequacy (Hsv does NOT warrant that ish). Your heart will feel so much lighter! Xo.

I do have a question!

I was not on daily meds, only taking them whenever I felt prodromal symptoms. How long should I wait for the full effectiveness of them to kick in?

For example: if I start today, after a week would it be safe to say that we can move into sexyland haha?

I've been searching but not really finding answers.

Xo!

& I do know that full effectiveness does not mean zero chance of transmission. I just want to make sure I'm using the medication effectively.

I might as well add- I think that I'm a little hyper-diligent with feeling these prodromes. I pop those pills at the slightest tingle/ itch to try and prevent an outbreak. & 99 % of the time, I'm successful. It makes me wonder if I was actually feeling symptoms or if I was just being paranoid. Is this better safe than sorry? Or could I be overdoing. I'm a bit unsure of how I'd negotiate this with my sex life... I wouldn't want paranoia to make things more difficult.

It takes about 10 days for the anti-virals to get to therapeutic levels in the body

I would say better safe than sorry for at least a year - if you are still a strong item then, have a conversation about his tollerance levels for the risk factors...

Awesome, Thank you thank YOU!

2 words: You rock. :)

Courage. Integrity. Honesty. Vulnerability. Connection.

Whew. Enjoy it, Aimi. You deserve to soak it all up.

Big hugs!

And for everyone else reading this, download the disclosure e-book + handouts here:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

Yay! Glad to hear it worked out!

Glad this SS got bumped by @murbs. A disclosure after 3 months gives me encouragement in my own situation and my feelings of guilt at leading him on and waiting too long. Don't know of you're still around Aimi but thank you and congratulations on your success and growth. So awesome :-)