Just got Cold Sore Herpes: Is This A Big Deal?

Hello All,

I just got the Cold Sore Virus from sharing a drink with my friend who didn't know it was contagious. I assumed that she would tell me if she had a cold sore and she didn't, so I thought it was a zit or something. I woke up the next morning, and I had one! It looks exactly like her cold sore, and its in around the same place. Its so embarrassing! I'm a freshman in highschool, and I don't want to show my face to anyone at school. I'm afraid that people will make fun of me for having herpes, or think I sleep around. People can be mean. I just learned more about it, and now I've found out that I will have to deal with this for the rest of my entire life. I can predict this popping up right before dates, job interviews, and other awful and embarrassing times. I also found out that 80% of the population has this kind of herpes. So now I'm wondering, is this a big deal? I have literally NEVER seen a cold sore on another person that I can remember, except for the friend that gave it to me. I know all these different remedies for it, but I can't stop feeling bad about it. I just keep thinking about how I have herpes now, and I will have it for the rest of my life. Will I have to tell every boyfriend/girlfriend about my condition before I kiss or date them? Is this just the norm? And if it is, then why do I never hear about it or see it? Please help!

Thanks :(

@Nommo

First, welcome! Glad you came here to get things clarified.

So yes, 80% of the whole population has Herpes and in your age group - 60% will have HSV1 (aka "Cold Sores") by the time you are young adults, precisely because of things like kissing and sharing drinks/lip balms/etc. I got it at age 3... not sure if it was a well-meaning Auntie giving me a kiss goodbye or some other rug-rat in pre-school sharing something with me, but I can safely say your life is NOT over.

That said, you WILL want to take some precautions in the future to keep from spreading it to others. As you learned, don't share drinks, especially if you are in the middle of an outbreak. And of course, no kissing/oral sex during that time at all either. Yeah - it's a nuisance but I'll be honest, once your body gets it under control, you may not get many/any further OB's... men seem to break out less than women.

Now, here's the not-so-much fun part. You will need to be careful around Oral Sex, because you can spread it to your partners privates if you are not very careful even when you don't have an OB because of Asymptomatic Shedding (see the links below for info).... and you really should tell them about it before you get intimate in that way so they can elect to not take part in that if they choose....You can take anti-virals if you and your partner really like oral sex to reduce the risk, use dental dams, etc. A lot will depend on what works for you and your partner.

Now, to tell a partner before kissing??? That's a sticky one.... I personally think that's going a bit far because people are so misinformed many will freak out which is nuts considering that the majority of the population has it but don't know they have it. I *personally* feel that if you are VERY responsible about not kissing if you have ANY symptoms of an OB (I know when mine are coming on when they are so minute noone will see them) that I wouldn't sweat it. Over time you will learn your symptoms and recognize them. Some may disagree with me here and I'm open to debating that elsewhere, but I really never heard of anyone with the "cold sores" telling anyone before the first kiss.

As for people seeing them, yeah, sometimes kids in your age group can be cruel. Don't let them get to you....their comments are more about THEIR ugliness and ignorance and NOTHING about you or who you are. It shouldn't make ANY difference for job interviews or whatever. Believe me, it may not look great but most people have NO IDEA it's Herpes.... and any "older" person will usually know its a "cold sore". So try not to sweat it too much.

Now, as far as your question about it being "the norm" and why you have not heard about it? Well, thank the CDC (Center for Disease Control)... they seem to think it's better to not test people and not educate people. It's a battle we are working on but it's going to be a long one. Most Sex Ed classes are pretty pathetic where STD's are concerned....even many Family Doctors are terribly behind the times on the latest knowledge about HSV1 and 2. Yeah.... its sad and there is a lot of ignorance and mis-information out there. Perhaps once you get to understand this virus you can help to educate your friends so that they know how to avoid getting/spreading it... as well as it's HSV2 cousin.

DO realize, you life is FAR from over, and while it may not seem like it now, it really is just a "Nuisance Skin Condition" ... and look at the bright side - you won't be able to get HSV1 on your genitals now because you will be immune as you will have the antibodies in your system for the rest of your life ;)

Here are the links:

Handouts:

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

Disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

((HUGS)) my friend....

@WSCDancer2010

Thanks for the support! I guess all I really have to worry about is not touching it and then touching my eye or nose or something. Also spreading it to other people. I suppose I'll get used to it, but just right now its weird. I'm glad I found this site. Its very strange to me that so many people have it yet I never see it and it seems like such a bad and unusual-seeming thing. I hope that changes in the future, as I have never had any classes and nobody has ever really taught me about HSV1. I tried telling my friend who gave it to me about how its a form of herpes and its very contagious and how it can spread to other parts of the body (eyes, nose, genitals), but she didn't believe me! Oh well I guess I can prove it to her...

It's just so weird that its such an underground thing to me :/

Anyways, thanks a lot!

Have her come talk to me. I have HSV1 on my genitals from a guy who performed oral sex on me. We didn't even have vaginal sex. Hsv1 is a big deal to me. My genitals are now infected because of it. The guy didn't have a cold sore either! I got it from the "shedding". How scary is that? No sign on his face he had cold sores, and I get this. He did later test positive. Anyways, mostly be careful performing oral sex. You can pass it to genitals, just like what happened to me. I would love to talk to your friend and set her/him straight. She needs a wake up call. Oral herpes is no different than genital in my book. It's an STD than be spread by sexual contact. You should warn men/women about it before you perform oral, but other than that, keep moving forward and ignore stupid people who are clueless about this.

@thisisgoingtobeokay

Thanks for the info, I'll be sure to be careful in the future.

Just wondering, does anybody know if I can put lipstick or something on my lips to kind of cover up the sores? Will it irritate it too much? If it makes it heal slower or makes the sore worse, then its not worth it. Does anyone know?

Thanks :)

@Nommo

Right now you do need to be very careful especially around your eyes... until your body develops the antibodies (about 4-6 months) you *could* spread it to other areas of your body, esp the eyes. Once that time frame has gone by you can relax a little. You will also be much more contagious to others for the first 6 months to a year....because you will likely have more OB's while you develop the antibodies too... although some people never have a 2nd OB on the lips. You never know.

Show your friend our site or at least the handouts. Information gives you power to control your situation and know what you need to do...

I applaud you for coming here to get informed. The majority of the population is clueless (which is why @thisisgoingtobeokay got infected)... which is why 50% of all new Genital HSV cases are now HSV1 from oral sex.

Good luck and keep asking questions on here... and you might as well learn about HSV2 while you are at it so you can hopefully protect yourself from getting it ;)

@Nommo

Actually, there is an OTC product called Abreva which supposedly clears up cold sores pretty quickly. I wouldn't use "cover up" until they crust over or start to shrink. You can also try Zinc Oxide cream or Aloe to help knock them down.

@WCSDancer2010

I did pick up some Abreva from the store. I have been using that as well as pressing green tea leaves and putting on some petroleum jelly, because I read somewhere that helps. Right now it stopped being a big red lump and its a medium sized white dot with a bit of red around it. It kind of looks like a white head zit. Is there anything else I can do to speed the healing process and prevent future sores?

Sounds like you are pretty well on it. The only other thing might be helpful would be to take some L-Lysine (you can get it at any place that has nutritional supplements). Some people have great results with it.

I personally have used Ammonium Alum (small amound dabbed on the sore) for years but it's hard to get nowadays. See how the Abreva works for you....it may do the same job ... I used it because they didn't have it back when I had my worst OB's ;)