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I feel alone with herpes and dont know what to do with myself...


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Hi Guys,

 

I am a 30 year old male and I have been recently diagnosed with HSV-2. I feel like my world has come to and end, I am having trouble sleeping, working and even going on about my normal life. This has changed everything for me. The news has been so hard hat I'm considering quitting my job and just go somewhere where I can be alone so I can come to grips with this. I feel like I will be alone forever and there is no way I will get to start a family which is something Ive always wanted.

 

It seems like the only thing I can think of is this damn Virus! Please help....

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I have had it for 20+ yrs and can tell you that as long as you live fairly healthy, outbreaks will get less severe and less often after about one year (sooner if you really commit to a healthy happy lifestyle including organic food and natural supplements, vitamins and L-Lysine). Until then suppressive therapy might be a good idea for you. There are natural supressives too.

 

PLEASE don't isolate yourself, confide in your best friend and know that it is actually unusual for someone NOT to have it! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ALONE FOREVER, I once thought that as well but i have a beautiful new girl now ;) StRESS AND DEPRESSION MAKE IT WORSE!! so it's very important to be as positive as possible (lol, but don't stress on that).

 

Hang in there bro, it gets better! You are younger than you think. By living a healthy lifestyle , i haven't had break outs in over 4 yrs and that last one was nothing! AS WELL THE ONE THE 2 YRS BEFORE THAT ONE ;)

 

& DO NOT GET THE FLUE SHOT... IT LOWERS THE IMUNE SYSTEM NO MATTER WHAT DOCTORS SAY ABOUT THAT!!! everyone i know who gets the flu shot gets the flu cause it's in the shot. Naturally boosting the immune system fights off the flu better than stupid antibodies. antibodies are for deadly snake bites not general health.

 

any time you feal a cold or flu coming on stop it imediately w/ elderberry syrup. which blows doors on Tamiflu!! (pharmasutical companies won't tell you that because they can't patent & make money on natural remedies) the less colds you have the less outbreaks.

 

Hang in there bro !!

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I have also had this for 20+ years. And I'll suggest to you something that I learned from this group. Try changing some words in your head. And by that I mean the ones you associate with HSV. First of all, change disease, or virus, or whatever negative term you have running around in your head to simply... skin condition. Because, that is all that it is. Try changing outbreak, or sores, or whatever negative thing you have in your head about that to.....occurrence. Because again, that is all that it is. Doing that created a mind shift for me.

 

Revenant is absolutely right that it lessens over time. And keeping yourself healthy is key! Don't let the stress, occurrence, stress, occurrence cycle get you. And you are so not alone. My Dr. told me last week that 1 in 4 Americans has HSV-2. And that 85% of them don't know it. So when you feel bad and alone, just look at a group of people and start counting. 1,2,3,HSV....1,2,3,HSV.

 

I know couples that have been together for years, one is positive, the other still negative and they have 20+ year old children. It can be done. Don't give up on that dream!

 

Things will get better. I know that's hard to believe right now, but it will.

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Hang in there. I remember the days when it seemed like every minute was consumed with the thought "I have herpes". It important to realize that getting a herpes diagnosis is not a sentence to live life alone. It's actually an opportunity to live an even happier life than you had before and experience more love than you have ever thought was possible. You're lucky you found this sight so quickly. Taking time to think about your life is fine but don't isolate. We're here for you. Tell a friend that you trust. The more the better. There's a lucky girl out there somewhere with your name on her heart! xoxoxox

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Just wanted to pop in to encourage you that your hopes and dreams are not over because of herpes. I have lived with it for 26 years, have not passed it to anyone that I am aware of, have been married twice (did not pass it), and have two children (natural childbirth). You will not be alone forever!!! Do not let herpes consume you - I know that can be hard when you just find out or are in the midst of an episode. I love what FlyGal said about re-framing your thoughts and words - awesome advice. It is so true that it is just a skin condition and an occurrence and best to be kept in that perspective. It stinks at the time like having a bad cold or the flu, but then it passes. Take control of it by taking care of yourself, keeping your thoughts positive and in check during the moments of doubt or fear, and trust that the dreams in your heart are there for a reason and that they will be fulfilled. You will find the one who is meant to fully share life with you and love YOU. Take care of you, you are worth it, and so is the life you have yet to experience! >:D<

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I just want to confirm what everyone else has said...I remember feeling like my world had come to an end. Actually in a way it did...I learned to think differently, I pushed myself to do new things and get out and meet new people. I didn't think about another relationship and worked on doing things independently. I have to say in many ways it has been the best year of my life...even though its been one of the hardest.

 

You aren't alone on here.. we all know how it feels and its great to be able to support each other. You won't be alone forever, there are people who think the person is more important than a common virus...and I am one of those so I do know we are out there :-) Look after yourself and your thoughts...it gets better.

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Guys than you soo much for all your messages, its comforting to know that there's other people out there who have survived through this. This has been really hard on me, really hard to the point that I feel sick. I just hope I can get through this. Again i thank you for taking the time to get in touch.

 

I am interested to know what precautions can be taken to make sure that you dont put anyone else at risk when sexually active? would the use of a condom be enough? antivirals? both? any info you could provide would be most welcome.

 

Again thank you so much for your help and support.

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Here is a link to a study of transmission rates: http://forums.webmd.com/3/sexual-conditions-and-stds-exchange/resource/3

 

So, from this you can gather that you should avoid sexual activity during an occurrence, that the use of condoms and suppressants also lowers the risk even more.

 

Take what OhHappyDay said into consideration. Years of having the skin condition, having children, and not having passed the condition on as hope!

 

And speaking of re-framing your mindset. I wish you would think about changing your name to something more positive! Thoughts and words have power. Make them work for you.

 

Glad you found us! You will get through this!

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Jim, keep hanging around here and you'll find out that there are lots of people with herpes who date and get married. There are dating websites for people with stds. I have joined one and met a friend already. He told me about some events that he's been to. He's opening my world. It will get better, you'll see. Maybe you can attend the retreat at the end of the month in North Carolina. I would love to go but I don't think it's feasible as I'm not working and my car is old. Keep the faith! We are all hoping for a cure some day!

 

 

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Hey Notsoluckyjim ... I hear you, brotha. Much love comin' at you. Just remember that you are only alone as you want to be. And reaching out here is a great step in proving that you're not alone. And I love what Lelani said. It may be the end of your world as you KNEW it. That's a great way to put it. I know that what my world used to be isn't what I wanted ultimately. It was just something I wasn't ready to change on my own. It took me getting herpes to shift my world around to find that I have integrity and love to give. It was my opportunity to shift all those self-defeating bullshit thoughts that I was choosing to believe about myself and whether I was worthy of love (or life, for that matter). So thank you for reaching out here, bro. You are worthy. And maybe it will take quitting your job and going off alone for a bit. But if you do decide to do that, make sure it is in your best interest to do so. In other words, if you do quit your job, you are doing it to take care of yourself instead of just trying to run away from reality. I trust you to make the right decision on that.

 

And yes, come to the Herpes Opportunity Weekend Seminar at the end of this month. It will help you shift all that stuff in one weekend. With a lot of awesome people to support you in that. Let me know if you'd like to talk with me about any of it ...

This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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And about your question about increasing the daily dose, I wouldn't do anything your doctor doesn't explicitly suggest. 400mg 2x daily is the dose I've always heard for acyclovir. I wouldn't mess with that unless your doc says so. I know you're on a tear to make sure you can be as far from this as possible, and also understand that this is what you have and it's only as bad as you make it. Trust me on that one. Most of the people who have had herpes for years say it's not a big deal at all on the physical side of things. Your immune system takes care of most of it.

This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Helpful resources:

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Adrial Thanks for getting in touch, it means a lot to me. I just wanted to ask you a question, and its a bit personal but how do you deal with having a partner who HSV-? This is probably my biggest fear, Im sure I will learn how to take care of myself with time but how do you deal with when you meet someone that really means something to you? How can you make sure it doesnt affect the relationship? the not being able to have unprotected sex, all of these things have been going round and round in my head. Any info you could provide would be most appreciated. THANK YOU.

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Sounds like you're already putting a negative spin on having to "deal" with being in that kind of relationship with a herpes negative partner. When your partner accepts you for all you are and have, and you accept her for all she is and has, both partners take equal responsibility for staying safe AND having fun! And using condoms may be something that both of you decide not to do. My last girlfriend and I decided not to use them while I took suppressive therapy and paid attention to those prodrome sensations that would signal a herpes outbreak coming on. In our 3.5 years together, she never got herpes. And not using condoms was a decision both of us made together, in relationship. And when you find someone and get into a relationship, both of you can decide on what you want to do about that, too. Do yourself a favor and don't expect what both you and your future partner will work out between each other. That can only happen once that woman actually exists in the flesh! ;)

 

Keep in mind that when both people decide to commit to a relationship of any sort, each partner is taking a risk in putting themselves out there. And it's not just a risk about herpes. You're opening yourself up to your partner's beliefs and attitudes and a whole lot more. Being in relationship means being vulnerable. And in being vulnerable, there can be pain AND just as much beauty, if not more. So if you're going to focus on something about when you do get into a relationship, focus on how much you will love this person. In loving them, you will naturally keep them as safe as you possibly can. It's not about being paranoid about keeping them safe; it's about lovingly keeping them safe and enjoying them. If you love someone, everything else that you're worrying about right now naturally happens. Worrying about the future won't make it better, bro. And I'm saying that just as much to me as I am to you. ;) Celebrating what is and looking forward to what will be is at least what I'm practicing in my life. Want to practice with me? :)

This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Helpful resources:

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