New to Genital HSV-1: Questions re: herpes transmission, towels, and chocolate!

Hi there H Opportunity Community,

First off, I want to say how thankful I am to you, Adrial, for creating this community and helping to reframe the hype around herpes from one of paranoia to one of self-love and care for ourselves and our relationships. That feels so, so good, and I thank you.

I was recently diagnosed with genital HSV 1 - via a blood test and swab - and have a few questions to help get myself oriented to life with this. I appreciate any and all insight and feedback folks can offer!

1) My partner who has oral HSV 1 (like most folks) passed the virus on to me genitally. What are the chances of me passing the virus back to my partner genitally? Any info about the rates of genital transmission of genital HSV-1 to folks who have oral HSV-1?

2) Any info about the rates of genital transmission of genital HSV-1 to folks who *don't* already have it orally? (That 10-20% of the population who, like me, were not already carriers?)

3) Towels. Do I need to get a separate towel for my face? Is there a risk of me passing HSV-1 to my face if I dry my crotch first, then my face, in the shower?

4) Chocolate and nuts. I was *really* bummed to hear about chocolate having a high concentration of arginine, and that it should be avoided. I love chocolate, and can't imagine life without it. I mean, really... I'm already on an uber-restricted diet: no dairy, gluten, sugar, or red meat, and am having a hard time imagining giving up nuts (which I eat daily, particularly almond butter), and stevia-sweetened chocolate which is *such* a treat. Any info on the necessity of cutting out chocolate and nuts with HSV-1? Is this imperative?

Much gratitude in advance to you for your time and care in responding. Here here to community, shameless loving, and empowering each other with shared knowledge.

I'll keep it short.

1. You can't pass the virus back and forth like you're concerned with. The likelihood is your partner has had it for a long while and has the antibodies built up throughout his body, so it just won't happen. However, if you've kissed him, you probably have it orally, too.

2. Don't worry about rates of transmission. HSV1 sheds less than HSV2, but like you said, 80-90% of the population already have 1. You can't reacquire it in a different location. Thus the possibility of you infecting someone who doesn't already have it is pretty low simply because most people already have it.

3. Since you're newly exposed, you'll want to take precautions such as washing your hands, avoid rubbing your genitals (the area from your knees to your waist, really) with your towel and then touching other parts of your body for the first few months until your body has the antibodies built up. You can autoinnoculate yourself (I got my ankles), but it's difficult. Just be cognizant and remember you're not a a walking Hazmat. Also, be very careful about touching your eyes for a while. That's a big one.

4. Everyone's body is different and will respond to HSV1 and 2 differently. Personally, I've done everything possible to intentionally set mine off without any success. I'm eating way too much chocolate, drinking plenty of caffeine, staying up late, drinking the occasional beer, and popping cashews, almonds, and honey roasted peanuts like a chipmunk in need of an intervention. Nothing's happened. In all honesty, HSV1 is tougher to trigger, so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Experiment and see what happens. We all have to go through that phase.

5. You're fortunate. HSV1 down below is less active than 2. When either is out of their "comfort zone" they tend to recur far less and cause far fewer episodes.

I agree with Herry as for triggers. I had my first OB mid-november and since then I havent really changed much. I already had a pretty good diet and workout regularly but i still drink coffee everyday! Actually i've drank alcohol a few times a week (during holiday celebrations, not an alchi lol) ate all the holiday treats and i actually had a few chocolate cookies today (yummy) and it hasnt effected me negatively. So you just have to torment yourself a little to see what things you can and can't get away with :-)

First - Welcome to the Forum. Glad to meet you!

You seem to have a good attitude to our friend...and it's great that you want to get properly informed...this is a great place for that info and you can start here:

Lots of great info here for rates of transmission/etc.

Handouts:

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

Disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

Just adding to the above answers:

1) Once they have antibodies built up it's unlikely you will pass it to the other areas of the other person ... given your partner already had HSV1 for awhile, he should be safe. You may want to be cautious for a few months while your system builds up antibodies if you just acquired it ... but general precautions like not having sex if he has an outbreak should be enough.

2)You will see in the Disclosure handout above that HSV1 genital sheds a LOT less... the general rates of transmission are likely mostly for HSV2 so your risk of transference would be lower BUT you still would want to take supressives and be cautious if you are with someone who has not manged to acquire the Herpes virus....

3) Towels are usually not a big deal because the virus doesn't live long at all outside the body.... but as Herry said, while you are still building antibodies, probably best to dry your face first then work your way down. That said, no need to sterilize everything in your wake or whatever. I had 2 kids and back then (80's) Herpes just was no big deal and I never thought to take special precautions around myself or my kids (and my ex got it from me before I know what that lovely heat rash really was :( ). It really take DIRECT skin-to-skin contact to spread this thing or perhaps very recent body fluids and a hefty dose of carelessness (ie, touching genitals and then immediately touching eyes) combined with a weak immune system to spread it around :p

4) Agreed around the triggers. Oddly, I went through a couple years where I could not eat trail mix that had chocolate AND nuts together without an OB - but now, like Herry, I have stuffed more of both in my gullet this last few weeks with the Holidays than I care to admit (tho my waistline is not as shy about showing it :( ) ... You will just have to figure out what doesn't work for you...AND if it doesn't work now, it may still be ok down the road.... I think it's such a delicate balance of what you are eating, stress levels, general health, hormones, etc that everyone is different.

(((HUGS)))

Dear Herry and West Coast Dancer,

Thank you SO much for your time and very thoughtful responses. This is such a gift to me -- it feels so supportive and caring, and helps me to feel not alone in this. Thank you, both of you, truly.

If I'm getting the two of you correctly, what you're saying is that herpes has the greatest chance of being spread to another person or around one's own body if

a) the other person is in that 10-20% of the population that has not been exposed, or

b) if you have just acquired the virus, and have not yet built up antibodies to it.

In other words, once I or a sexual partner have built up antibodies, we are less likely to acquire the virus in a different place than our original sites of outbreak.

This is very helpful information, as it suggests that, so long as any future sexual partners have HSV-1 orally, and have had it for years (which is likely, as I'm in my mid-30s and seek partners the same or older), then they are unlikely to contract the virus genitally.

I'm getting you here, right?

Yep, that about sums it up. Wouldn't need to have had it for years, I think most doctors consider the risk of auto-inoculation virtually non-existent after about 6 months post-infection. And, again, there just isn't a chance that you could pass it back anywhere on your dancing partner's body.

Wow, thank you so much.

This information is invaluable.

Thank you, Herry.

You got it - but DO know you could still get HSV2 - HSV1 doesn't make you immune to the other Herpes viruses......