Parents Hmph.

So as I am sitting on the train i n my way home...I was reflecting on my conversation with my Dad. Or lack thereof. ..last night. My Dad has never been the emotional...hug I love you type. So even though I have had herpes for almost 2 yrs and my mom and sister know as wel as so many of my friends...I've always been scared to tell him. And its not like I'm some delinquent in life. I have made great accomplishments. So I was feeling good and trying to be vulnerable with him because he always says I can tell him anything and never do. Well....i was actually ok with having herpes until last night. Or atleast getting there. Before I even got a word out.... (and before this I had told him how I felt like no one would want me so you'd think he'd have empathy)...he said yea you haven't told me because you know ill scold you. I told you to use protection. And the regret of not wearing protection has been the hardest on me and that just came back at me like a pile of bricks. And now feeling like absolute shit again I feel the need to vent. Like if my dad wont even accept me what other man will? Ugh. I know my dad will love me no matter what but you can't talk to him for anything. Blahhh.

#need to vent

#Merry Xmas Eve!

Well, if it makes you feel better, I used protection and still got it. This is that rare type of virus that can go right through the skin and doesn't require penetration. Your dad doesn't understand the logistics of this virus, nor how prevalent it is and that 1 in 4 women have it; most without knowing it. Educate him. Educate the men you date. The more you know, the more comfortable you'll become. The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable you'll make others.

And, keep in mind, you will always be "daddy's girl" and "daddy's girl" doesn't have sex. Ever. She's a nun. Even after she's married and has children, those children were born of immaculate conception. It's a dad thing, and it's pretty universal so you are far from alone.

Merry Christmas!

Educate him. Educate the men you date. The more you know, the more comfortable you'll become. The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable you'll make others.

Amen -

@Simplyme ... print the disclosure page out for him and tell him you want to talk to him. Tell him he doesn't understand that you can get it with a condom and many people believe they were tested when they weren't. Tell him you made a mistake but many people who did everything right also have it. Educate him. And tell him that it's important to you that you have his SUPPORT, not his lectures.... That you've done a perfectly good job of beating yourself up, thanks :P

Merry Christmas... don't let him get you down.

((((HUGS)))

Thanks to both of you. "You are daddys girl. Daddys girl doesn't have sex." I guess this is the root of it all. I had forgotten about that key fact that may be apart of the reason for him acting that way but it still would help to have the support. I do know people who have caught it while using protection as well so that's a good point to bring up.

"I need his support. Not his lectures. Ive done a good enough job beating myself up." That should be my opening line! You guys have given me some good tips that I will use the next time I approach him. Ill keep you updated! Thanks!

Hope you had a Merry Christmas! :)

@simplyme24 My parents have treated me like shit through it all, so I understand how it can hurt and set you back. Mine basically told me to get over it and start back with your life. I didn't get a hug, a baby I am so sorry this happened, we are here for you. Instead, my stepmother (who is/was like my mother to me, raised me since I was 5) ran behind my back told people and called the guy who gave it to me which ultimately ended up being the reason he has treated me like such shit. They have treated me like I was a whore, which they know I am not, so to be treated as such when they know better has broken my heart. I don't speak to them and haven't since Thanksgiving, I moved out. I agree that educating is the best medicine. I like your line, "I need his support, not his lectures, Ive done a good enough job beating myself up." You have no idea how hard that hits me. It has brought tears to my eyes because I feel like not only my parents, but everyone lectures me. "No one is going to feel sorry for you, stop with the self pity." "It is a shitty situation and he is an asshole, but you have to let it go." "You are too strong to have become this person." "you don't need to sit at home alone every night." "you will never meet anyone if you stay in your house." All of that plays in my head. It hurts because no one understands, even if they are right, it doesn't fix it. Only we can fix it. It starts with us. Please know I am here for you. Hugs to you. I know I didn't give good advice, I just want you to know I can relate and know how that feels.

@thisisgoingtobeok my stepmother (who is/was like my mother to me, raised me since I was 5) ran behind my back told people and called the guy who gave it to me which ultimately ended up being the reason he has treated me like such shit.

Sorry - but if he was a real MAN nothing your step mom said would have changed his mind. She didn't help, but if he love you, he'd have told her to take a running jump and that it was none of her business. At the very least he would have come to you to ask your side of the story.

And everyone is saying those things because they love and care for you. If they didn't, they wouldn't say anything. They just want to see you happy again.

And you are right - the healing HAS to come from you. YOU have to get tired of the crap and choose to move on. Just remember you have had a few glimmers of reality and hope that you WILL move on ... and you will get more of them as time goes on..

(((HUGS)))

@thisisgoingtobeokay I am so sorry you had that experience. I guess we all wish for the fairy tale ending in things but it never works out that way. "Wish for the best, expect the worst" I always say. And its not like its even self pity, its more like life just sucks right now and when life sucks, people have the right to be sad or pissed. And people dont understand who dont have it. Its just like any other situation in life. No one really knows how you feel but you. Its easy to say go out there and find someone accepting who will date you...not so easy to do. I am here to support you through your journey :) and thanks for your response