Obsessing.... Should I retest for herpes?

Hi everyone.... Thanks for this amazing forum. I am looking for feedback for my situation. Feeling incredibly low lately. I have always suffered from hsv-1 orally. And now my worst nightmare. I think I have hsv-1 genitally. I think this because to my knowledge it is the only reason for a recurrent sore in the exact same place. The first time it happened... I brushed it off. Second time...got a little worried. Third time just plain scared. I have already gotten it cultured. And the result was negative. The more it happens the more I try to talk to my fiancée about it. He is the only man I have been with in 4-5 years. He is needless to say- less than receptive. He goes cold and almost in denial. I try to tell him I think it is probably from kissing me and then oral- but he acts disgusted. Should I retest or try and save my relationship. I was open and honest about my fears. I am obsessing about getting a definitive answer but will it help or hurt me???

The most viable test out there is the swab directly on the outbreak, so if it's been cultured and it came back negative, it's probably not herpes. I have heard of false negatives when it comes to the blood test for herpes (IgG and Western Blot), but not from a direct swab. What did the doctor say about all of this? That's going to be your best form of contact for this since we aren't in person with you to check it out.

Thanks Adrial! My regular doctor office -OB /GYN says if it is.... It is an atypical presentation and viral cultures are only accurate if sores are weeping. Which it was not... Just kind of a papercut but always in the same place. So if it never truly opens... How will I ever know?

I was looking at a site written by a specialist and it says some people have it... But have no symptoms. I guess I'm saying if I was one of those people.... How do you ever know :(

Yes, you can have herpes and never have any visible outbreaks. In fact,15-20% of people who have herpes NEVER have an outbreak. So yes, especially in the case of HSV-1, you won't know if you have it genitally unless you have a genital outbreak. With HSV-2, it's different since 99% of the time the site if preference is genitals. HSV-1 can live either orally or genitally.

Thanks Adrial... I just read that cultures have a 50-70% chance of being negative if not taken right away. I guess it's safe to say I won't know at this point until I get another one. If you were with the same person and getting married would you retest or just go on with life?

@adrial hi, so are you saying that if you have HSV2 the chances of getting a cold sore are rather slim?

@Jackie5678 I hope you were able to find out whether you have it or not.

Either case I think its important to have a conversation about it as long as you are comfortable doing it. The conversation needn't be around you personally having it but just on herpes and what you think about it, the stigma, misinformation etc. It is after all just a skin condition and its important to make that clear so that in case things do show up later on it does not become a big deal.