I'm on the edge somehow

Well, there has been about a week I've got the call after a culture test came back +. They took some blood too but I haven't seen the results yet, or I'm not even sure if my Doctor ordered an IgG. I'll have to ask but it seems that a culture when positive it's pretty much all one needs to be depressed.

About a year ago I had the same little blister appear around the meatus and the Doctor looked at it and sent for a culture, but it came back negative. Big relief there and basically I had no other symptoms as I can remember, just the itching and the blister which went away with some yeast infection cream. I guess if it was herpes, he cultured late and results were - because of not enough viral material?

Now this time (about a month ago), I started feeling symptoms/pain in some muscles for a while then the small blister came back in the same spot (I'm not sure what came first as symptoms go) so when I went to see the Doc for the pains I showed him the blister and he looked and said it's pretty much certain it was HSV.

I left with a Valtrex prescription for a 2/2 days course even before I got the test results. By then I was feeling back pain and hazy head which made soo difficult to work.

I went to see the Doc for a follow up and because I needed to get a copy of the test. He was pretty nonchalant and just assured me that I had to get my stress level down and be careful with transmission etc. He also asked me if I wanted to be on a suppresive or as needed course of Valtrex. I told him that I wasn't sure and he prescribed me a month's worth.

Now I've been so bummed, I have no idea where I got this and could had been with an older GF but I'm not sure.

This whole couple of weeks have been devastating for me. I'm not sure what to expect, I've been reading so much about it looking for inputs from people in the same situation and I would like to get counseling but I'm not sure how to look for that or if health plans cover it.

I heard yoga is a very nice way to deal with stress and angst that follows this diagnose. Trying to be healthy in all aspects so the immune system gets stronger and hopefully settles and controls the outbreaks.

I'm just so in awe, its' been a rough ride for sure.

Nice to be here.

Hi Sen...yeah its a rough ride alright and you have only just hopped on the bike. It does get better and you learn to manage it. Yes Stress is a biggy so get rid of as much crap in your life as possible - for me that meant mostly negative people and reducing how much energy I gave to things i didn't need to - wasn't a bad thing! And eating well...yes just building up and maintaining a healthy immune system. H has a way of forcing you to do it and keep it up...that's a good thing too.

It doesn't really matter who you got it from (as long as since then if you have had sex with anyone you let them know so they can get tested too), you have it like thousands of others like me. It just eats at you if you try and pin it on someone - and I mean we dont' worry about who gives us chickenpox, cold sores and mono are the same, same virus family and could've come from anyone (maybe we just don't sleep with quite so many people and we breathe with lol. Its just the stigma surrounding H that makes us try and determine who. I knew who, made and informed (but slightly ignorant) choice and voila!

I was devastated to start with and still have times of sadness about it but 7 months down the track its not the worst thing that has happened to me so I am thankful.

So start with yoga...its a great stress reliever, eat well - check in here for any support you need (I am dealing with it really well now and its always nice to give others a ray of sunshine when there doesn't seem to be any). You aren't alone and I'll be sending you good thoughts to get through these early days. :-)

Thank you for your inputs lelani.

I wonder if you are on a suppressive treatment, I mean taking the meds every day to prevent obs. I'm scared of having a bad one and not been able to work and go about my daily chores that are so important to me.

Yes, I'm giving yoga a try besides my normal gym routine which has been disrupted by this whole event.

I'm trying to adapt to a better diet but I usually eat pretty healthy as a rule. I just don't know much about all the dos and don't when it comes to dealing with herpes and food.

Did you remove coffee completely form your diet? I have one cup a day and I hate to give up bu will if I have to to prevent theses outbreaks.

Come to think that I wouldn't mind having this virus if was just like the chickenpox, one big event and then dormant. But the perspective of not knowing when we will get that sick is just so depressing to me.

Thanks again.

Hey sen! I hear you. You're in the first phase of the herpes healing process. Here are a few a few posts on that:

http://herpeslife.com/the-herpes-self-acceptance-process/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-healing-process-the-5-stages/

I totally get that you're overwhelmed right now. Know that it gets much, much better. Herpes really is only a minor skin condition (that just so happens to be wrapped up in a whole lot of stigma). If we can love ourselves regardless of what the stigma might tell us, then we can get past it and live our lives. Because when it really comes down to it, herpes really isn't a big deal. Here's a great podcast where Dan Savage says just that (proof positive!) ;)

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-is-not-a-big-deal-dan-savage-love/

My personal experience as a man with herpes was to let the outbreaks run their course for the first few and to only take the medication episodically to minimize the intensity of the outbreak. After the first few outbreaks, as my body built up immunity, the rest were so minimal that I wouldn't even need to do episodic (now I'm on suppressive now only to protect my girlfriend from getting herpes).

If you're wanting support, there are quite a few options here:

1) I can put you together with a (h) buddy, someone else who's going through exactly what you're going through so you two can talk and support each other. Just shoot me a message and I can link you up.

2) Find a local support group that you can attend in-person. Here's a link to that:

http://www.ashastd.org/std-sti/Herpes/support-groups.html

3) Join us for our next virtual over-the-phone support group. Here are links for that, depending on what you would like to donate:

http://thehopp.eventbrite.com/?discount=VIP75 (75% off)

http://thehopp.eventbrite.com/?discount=HFORUM (50% off)

http://thehopp.eventbrite.com (full price)

4) I'm available for one-on-one coaching. It's not just about (h) … it's about who you are. Here's information on that:

http://herpeslifecoach.com

Hey Hopp,

Thanks for putting this info together for me.

I've read the links and listened to the podcast too. The Savage show.

I just can't fathom yet this is just a minor skin condition, i brings so many symptoms besides the blister(s).. but as you say, I'm overwhelmed and these perceptions can be related to it.

I'll be messaging you today maybe for the buddy connection.

I'm taking Valtrex again after a few days without it because I felt some burning at the same spot and I can't be sick again this week. Too much work ahead of me..

The point of having your body build up resistance is great but it seems that it's too painful when you need things done now, you see? But I'll try when I can even though there are people that keeps taking the meds right? - I'm just confused.

Unfortunately there are no physical Support Groups where I live, according to the asha link. Ed is looking into that for me too.

Thanks again Bud!

Sen