Depressed

I got my unofficial herpes diagnosis yesterday, I went to the urgent care after many google searches & thinking that’s what was going on. It started about a week ago my boyfriend had ripped me a little during sex, about 2 days later I had a low grade fever & was just really tired but thought nothing of it but that I may be getting sick so I went on about my days like normal. Then I noticed when I would pee it burned, BAD! So I checked down there & noticed a few sores, I freaked ! Let them go for about a day then I couldn’t take my nerves anymore and went straight to urgent care after work. Even though I was expecting her to say that’s what it was I sat & cried & prayed it wasn’t. I had her do a swab and a blood culture & im now waiting for the official results although I’m already certain that’s what it is. I called my boyfriend & he went to the ER for a blood test since testing for herpes in my area isn’t done (which I don’t understand at all!) he txt me from the ER and told me the nurse told him I couldn’t have gotten herpes from him and he doesn’t have it because he has no signs of it at all, but I still told him to request a blood test, he did and he should get his results back today. After that he told me that we need a “break” which I already know means we’re done. He’s not at all supportive like I was hoping he would be, complete opposite ! Iv done nothing but cry. I can’t eat & I’m just completely depressed & not sure where to go from here. I feel like my life is partially ruined, I’ll never be married, never have more kids (single mom of one 9 year old) I’m only 27, this isn’t fair. I just keep praying I wake up & this is all just a really bad nightmare

You're going to be okay.

Nothing is ruined, and nothing fundamental about you has changed.

I might direct you to my thread, "First Day and Trying to Stay Upbeat".

I go over a lot of my moods and emotions in detail from day one through present.

You might find a lot of similaities to how you feel, and you'll get an idea of how I pulled myself together and regained my self-image, self-appreciation, and pride.

It's a lot of reading, so the bottom line is:

Seek opportunities to do good for people who are close to you.

Make a plan to do something good for yourself, and do it soon.

Find reaons to appreciate yourself.

Build up your self esteem and your pride.

Remember that you can do all the things you've always done the same way.

Pay attention to your state of mind and your body, take care of them.

When you need to unwind, make time for it. When you need a kick in the pants to get your day started, do it for yourself.

You'll feel like yourself agian soon.