Well here we are...

So I just found out on Friday that I have Genital Herpes. My wife has Oral Herpes - has had it since forever. We've always been careful to not do anything if there's an active breakout, but no idea if this is something from her or someone else from years ago. I went to the Dermatologist to confirm what I was thinking it was at the time. I had an itch that was pretty annoying for 3 days before I decided to shave and see what was going on. Took them a brief moment, "Yup, this is herpes." I made them do a swab test so I could know exactly which type - 1 or 2. Still awaiting the results. Got the initial Rx for Anti-Viral.

I do feel fortunate however to be in a great relationship and we already have all of the children we wanted. At least, however, I can make sure they're educated on this - assuming no vaccine arrives in the next 3-5 years, on how to be safe and smart with Sex, etc.

Overall my symptoms were a somewhat of an annoyance, but overall, they were pretty minor. I've take photos each morning and evening to track the progress. So far, going on day 5, there are no more blisters and the skin looks to be settling down and healing, still an occasional itchiness, but nothing more than what a mosquito bite would be like - if even that bad. The biggest support has been able to just talk to my wife about it and to have her comfort, understanding and help. I can definitely see why for most the psychological effects are way worse than anything else. Stupid society gives these 'cute' names to the other forms of herpes - Chickenpox, Cold Sores, Mono (The Kissing Disease), Shingles. Somehow they skipped this one, should be Love Bumps. But alas, it instead stigmatizes the general population which inadvertently creates this absolutely idiotic and counter-productive silence and mis-information around it. Looking forward to hopefully having less frequent and less severe breakouts in the future.

A few questions to end with:

1) In the event this is HSV-2, and my wife has HSV-1, how likely would she be to contract this as well? I already know that if I end up with HSV-1 and she already has that, there's nothing to worry about.

1A) We have no intention of using condoms for sex - Is daily anti-viral the only way to go to significantly reduce any contraction of it?

1B) If I covered up the outbreak, whether it be with underwear or some type of medical gauze, etc. would it still be possible for me to infect her if not on anti-virals?

2) If she did contract HSV-2 from me, since she already has HSV-1, would her symptoms be extremely mild? Or does that not play any part into it?

3) Would the location of the initial outbreak be the point at which the virus initially entered her skin? Or is it just anywhere in the lower torso region?

So... sd2018... How do you think you came down HSV2 ?? I just got diagnosed and I believe my wife gave it to me after cheating on me and she has had HSV1 for years as well. It doesn't just appear out of thin air !! Or change from #1 to #2 does it? I need to know more as this could be a marriage buster if she has cheated on me to a point where she gave me H2. Isn't that why they call it an STD....Transmitted sexually?

Thanks for any input.

So stoneman this does not mean your wife cheated on you.. in fact she could just as easily assume that of you. The thing with herpes is generally you can’t know how long you have had it or if it’s been dormant for ages .. when you go to the doctors you have to specifically ask to be tested for this in particular. My husband got it from me as I had it before we met from an ex who never discolosed but would just say stupid things like he had trapped his penis in his zipper so we couldn’t have sex for a week blah blah .. I even rember now looking back his medication. He actually came over after we broke up once and we had sex and then 6 days later I had the worst outbreak of my life to date. I knew it was defo from him as he had it and had given it to me. But I thank god I got it as I would never have been as cautious and several boyfriends after wouldn’t stick around when I disclosed but then along came my husband and he listened and got it having studied medicine at uni. He took the risk and we used protection but sometimes didn’t and once when it seeemd I didn’t have an outbreak he got it. However he tested negative to it 3 times!! But he still knew after the 2nd time it was that so he used abtivirals when it came up.

So no she could have had it for a long time and never had a flare up strong enough to know OR you could have and the same thing. I only knew because it was the most awful painful experience and happened after we had sex and I confronted him and he laughed about it. So look to your marriage and if it was happy and full of trust before than be happy you have her support and can tackle this together.

Sd2018 in answer to some of your questions

1) she does have risks to contract hsv2 from you just as my husband did

2) using antivirals doesn’t mean you are eliminating the risk of passing it on they just helpsurpress it and also speed up the blisters going when you do have a break out. The best way is condoms all the time but if you don’t want to do that (totally understand) you monitor and watch carefully for signs you have a outbreak coming like tingles etc and don’t have sex during that time. I don’t used antivirals, only when an outbreak but now I don’t even for that I use herbal things to make the outbreak go quicker and I try and ride it out.

3- definitely could still infect her if you have sex during an outbreak - worse time to have sex. Covering it doesn’t mean she won’t get it as sometimes it’s in other areas without a promonant blister while you have one you think is the o my one and you are covering it. There’s a thing called shedding when you can get it without blisters, look into it

4) just the lower torso so region

My husband got it from me but just because we now both have it doesn’t mean we have sex when either of us has an outbreak because it’s uncomfortable and just means we start the others flare up again and that’s pretty rubbish. So we wait until it’s done (my husband uses antivirals ) and then we get to it lol.