It Might Not Be So Bad After All...

HSV. Everyone's favorite topic! If you read my other piece, you know about my struggle with Viral Meningitis. But now I get to share with you (because it was just shared with me) how I got it. As if I wasn’t already depressed, hurt, and confused, here comes the nurse from the hospital calling to tell me that one of the possible causes of Viral Meningitis is the Herpes Simplex Virus and they tested me for it when I was there. Surprise! I have the Herpes Simplex Virus type 2, or as I like to put it, Genital Herpes. I cried almost as loud as I did the day I got the severe headache from the Meningitis. I immediately thought, I am 21 years old and my life is over. I thought about all the cons, no more dating, the difficulties having children without infecting them, dating rejection, my friends judging me, having to worry about infecting people around me, every possible negative thought came rushing at me all at once. I can not believe this is happening to me.

I had to mourn the death of the person I once was for a few days of course, but after coming to, I realized that although it is not curable, this is not a death sentence. I thought let me learn a little more about this before I just shut out the world and everyone in it. I found that 1 out of 6 people have HSV. So if you know more than 6 people, one of them most likely has some form of HSV. Some people know, some people don't, but they do. So yeah that is A LOT of the population. Some people get symptoms like itching, burning, and bumps on their genitals sometimes and some people can go years without having one single outbreak. There are Antiviral medications and even suppressive treatments to help lessen the outbreaks. To prevent the spread of the infection you can:

*Use condoms

*getting regular STI tests and ensuring sexual partners also get tested regularly

*reducing the number of sexual partners

*being in a long-term monogamous relationship with an uninfected person

*avoiding sexual activity during outbreaks of the herpes virus

*using anti-herpes medication daily if one partner has the herpes virus

*abstaining from sexual activity

Source: WEBMD.com

The best thing to do if you find out you have HSV is to contact your doctor so they can answer all of your questions and help you find the best option for treating the infection.

On another note, I felt like although I could treat it to minimize outbreaks, dating is going to be a nightmare from now on. I thought, who would want to be with someone with Herpes, one of the scariest STIs out there. I immediately thought ok, well what if I find someone with herpes like me to date, I could possibly find a guy that way. I mean, who could turn away someone with the same condition as them? This notion, I soon found out was a problem. I signed up for a HSV dating site and I realized that I was scared to share too many details about myself and even post a picture of myself. I noticed that I was scared to reveal that I had herpes even on a HSV dating site. Odd, I know. I was struggling accepting my truth.

I went on to search for forums, discussion boards, etc (as I did when I found out I had Meningitis). I was searching for people my age with HSV who were struggling in the LOVE department. I found them. I could not help but fully relate to every single person on the discussion board. It was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. One blogger expressed how she would never sign up for a HSV dating site, as it can influence people who carry the virus to conform to only talking to or being with others who have it which is crazy. She opened my eyes to understand that we are all people and should not live under the stigma that Herpes is this big scary monster thing and we have to alienate ourselves from the rest of society. After all HSV is really just a few outbreaks of uncomfortable bumps and itching. It's not to say you shouldn't be careful with your health, it is just that the stigma behind Herpes is that it's a death sentence and its not.

The posts made me laugh and informed me of so much. People my age, in college just like me, everywhere, going through the same exact thing. One girl and guy on the board went on to say don't be afraid to disclose that you have the virus to people. The girl told about 50 guys and had only been rejected by about 5 of them or so. She had been in 7 relationships post HSV. A guy said the girl he met had it and he didn't really care and slept with her. All of this was good news to me, not because I just HAVE to be in a relationship or have sex, but to know that I don't have to restrict myself to find love or be ashamed of myself for my condition. I also learned to ditch the stigma because its not as bad as anyone thinks and is easily contracted. Anyone can get it and not even know it.

I don't know if I am quite as ready as these folks to be as open as they are with HSV, but I can say that I had a huge sigh of relief that I can be if I choose to. Tip of the day is to not be afraid of rejection. Not everyone will reject you.Take a chance, try it, disclose to someone and be positive about it, because you won't know the outcome until you try!

These are the two websites I went to to research: The first is the forum from the people’s stories that I used in my entry. The other is an article. I hope you find these as helpful as I did.

https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/8423/dealing-with-herpes-in-college

The Overblown Stigma of Genital Herpes - The Atlantic

When did you get meningitis?? Did they do a spinal tap? I’ve been having lingering symptoms and weird neurological symptoms as well.

M, well said...At the end of the day we are all made from the same cloth. I have this, she has that, he has another thing. It shouldn't matter when we are all equal anyways.

I'm so proud of your words you used. You are a strong young lady and have a very bright future ahead. Excellent Excellent attitude towards life....:):):)

Thank you so much! Absolutely, I just remember how down I was when I first found out. I just hope to connect to someone inspire them to not be ashamed and to have a more positive outlook on life. Keep pushing forward!!!

Thank you...I needed this!!!