judgement free zone only

I visited this site periodically, reading peoples stories, reading questions, but never actually joined. I was diagnosed with Hsv-2 in an ER by lesion swab about a year and four months ago. I felt like my whole world had been shattered. I can't ever describe the feeling to someone who has not lived through it, because its simply impossible. I have always been an emotionally stable person, very smart, grounded, all around positive for the most part. This day really did change my life. For months to follow I was heart broken, I felt I was walking around with HERPES written across my forehead in black ink. Then what, right? Life does go on. But I became obsessed with finding answers. How? When? Who? I have had sex with 2 people total in my entire life, ex boyfriend and current boyfriend. That is why I was so shocked by my diagnosis, because I wasn't someone who slept around with people or had multiple partners in my life. This really can happen to anyone. Fast forward I got both men tested. Went to the lab with them got them the IGG and IGM blood tests, (both say they have never had an outbreak) so I say ok fine, well get tested anyway. Both results come in negative....I went with both of them to the lab to pick up the results so there is no way either of these men could have shammed me and created a fake form or something. So this leaves me infuriated. Not because I want them to have hsv2, but with both of them being negative, it doesn't make sense how my blood test and swab were positive. I was left with no explanation and that was the hardest part, still is. I have gone to see 3 different doctors about my diagnosis and told them my story. Huge disappointments. The last one was my gyno, a man, and he had very little explanation on my situation. I'm convinced he thinks I'm lying, since he didn't react much to a story that the average human being would fine to be shocking. I have found that doctors don't know very much about herpes..... start digging deep and asking real questions and they are actually clueless. I'm thinking one of the men has it so mildly or dormant in his blood that it doesn't register in the blood test. Its the only explanation I can think of. Just weird that I have it so active while they have no outbreaks? I am now on supressive therapy, 500 mg of valtrex once per day. It keeps outbreaks at bay, before the daily pills I was getting the outbreaks every couple of weeks and it made me feel very depressed. I decided that wasn't worth it and went for supressive. My only worry now is, is it unhealthy for the body to be taking valtrex every single day, for YEARS? I don't want to seriously damage my liver or kidney or something. The doctor says no, but he is a dingbat. Anyone have any answers on that?

Well, thanks for reading so far. Over a year later my outbreaks are not AS bad but i still do get one every couple of months. Have leg nerve pain in the groin beforehand... very unpleasant. I am still with the same boyfriend I have been with for 3 years, and he has been very supportive. I live a normal life and don't dwell on the diagnosis any more like I used to. I know a lot of people live with things that are much worse than this, and I have many beautiful things and people in my life to be grateful for. Staying positive, spreading kindness and pouring my love and effort into personal relationships has helped me very much. Once in a while I do feel down, just like I'm sure many of you do as well. Its not so much the physical part of it (the outbreak) but just remembering the fact that i have hsv 2 sometimes hits me and I'm like... damn.......that's unfortunate, and I start to feel a little pity for myself. Its the stigma I think that makes me feel bad about myself. Most people are really uneducated about it and judgmental. My partners know, my parents, and 1 friend. But its not something you go shouting from the roof tops, ya know? Someone in conversation made a herpes joke about 6 months ago and I felt like someone punched me in the stomach and knocked the wind out of me (of course they didn't know). Things like that just kill someone who has hsv 2 and people have no idea!!! People get breast cancer for example and there are 5k's, shirts, support groups left and right, but this is the type of thing that is a secret for the most part. It is seen as taboo, even doctors are very ill informed on the virus. It just sucks you are mostly dealing with it as a secret, its in your head and you can't go around talking about it. Which is why I am writing this post, lol. I felt like it was important for me to to openly share my story, just weird it has to be with strangers.

xo

I’m in you situation. This morning I feel Awful like dying! I have A constant burning feeling and don’t want to get on meds but I guess I’m at no other choice right now. I’ve never had major outbreaks so that’s why I reslly don’t wsnt to do the daily medicine

That’s so weird !!, and u never had sex with anybody else not even foreplay ? Because that’s almost impossible

@Lifegoesonn Yes I am beyond positive lol I would know.

Wow ThTs insane one or the other must have a false negative