A few questions about genital HSV 1?

Hi all!

Before I get anywhere I've had genital HSV 1 for almost 2 years that I contracted from a ex- partner of mine. I've only had 2 outbreaks in the whole time I got my first initial one which was horrible, the second one was not nearly as bad as the first.

I met someone new that I very much want to have sex with. I disclosed to him when we first started to talk about sex since I wanted to be honest and not have someone go through what I went through. He's been really supportive about the whole thing, but of course he's being really cautious. He was previously with a girl for 2 years who had oral HSV 1 (alot of frequent outbreaks but they avoided kissing etc. during that time) so he went to get the blood test last week for HSV 1 and HSV 2 which came back negative for both types. I think he was .01 for HSV 1.

Now I just feel really hopeless no matter how supportive he's being. It's been hard waiting on his results and then while no one wants herpes at all we were at least hoping it worked out for us you know?

I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN thats in about 4 weeks to discuss with her about what could we do when we do cross that bridge and actually plan on having sex.

I highly doubt he would catch this from my genitals because it is not in the preferred site of HSV 1 if he didn't catch it from his ex who had it orally (which is supposedly shed a lot more often). Though I still want to take precautions.

I have a few questions:

1. Is HSV 1 actually shed less than HSV 2?

I've read that it is shed far less than or even at all than HSV 2.

2. Can I receive oral sex (without a dental dam)?

3. Is there really a point of taking an antiviral if the virus is not shed nearly as often as the other?

4.Is there really no hard facts of overall transmission rates of genital HSV 1?

GHSV-1 has a lot of misinformation surrounding it.

I can see that you are concerned for your partner's health as well as your relationship being fun and easy without herpes getting in the way.

I'd recommend taking the antiviral medication and using condoms at first until you both feel more comfortable.

Nobody should feel shame or regret regarding sex.

There was a few weeks where I had been diagnosed and my girlfriend was waiting on test results. We abstained for a while, even after I healed. Once we started getting intimate again, I was really having trouble feeling comfortable and having fun.

We found that keeping condoms on the night stand, ready to go helped and being on antiviral made me feel a little more confident.

It took a while for us to be comfortable enough to ditch the condoms even after we both had our diagnosis. There is a big psychological factor at play there.

Talk about wanting to do all the stuff you want to do. Talk about what you're nervous about, especially regarding transmission. Take steps to reduce risk and feel more comfortable so you don't end up feeling shame or regret later.

It migjt kind of drag the mood a little, and it might lead to some awkward apologies. But that stuff is okay. It doesn't break anyone.

Talk about how you will each become more confident and comfortable together eventually. And be okay with being a little over cautious at first!

@MEO1016. You should have your boyfriend tested for herpes by the Western Blot test if you want to know for sure he does not have HSV-1. The common Eliza test misses up to 30% of HSV-1 cases.