What do you do?

So I went to my doctor on Friday due to my nerves being so bad. First time I have even talked to her since I found out that I was positive. I even has her check me Friday because I have been irriated but she said she didnt see anything. She was really helpful in trying to reassure me that everything was ok stating that I had so many positive things going on in my life and one negative. She told me that it was not going to kill me and and try not to stress so over. She told me that the first outbreak is usually the worst one and I'm wondering is that actually true. I have never had a bad outbreak or if I did I didn't know what it was because I've never had any blisters. I get one like every six months in the same spot. It usually last about 3-5 days. So will it get worst or will it continue like this. I stress and worry so much she actually wanted to put me an institution on Friday because of my thoughts of killing myself. I have two young boys and I feel so ashamed. This is so hard for me. I can't eat I can't sleep. I feel like a terrible mother for being so stupid. I'm checking my vagina every day checking my mouth my lips everything. I put carmex on I have bought some other lip stuff. I just know if I get a cold sore on my mouth, I will probably kill myself. So I pray and I'm asking for you all to please pray for me. Will someone who has had it for a long time please help me

Okay, just take a deep breath and relax like literally breathe in all the air you can then exhale about 3-5 times , I have hsv 1 & 2 I didn’t care not one bit of getting cold sores cus I barely ever got them, but the first ob I had of hsv 2 is the worst because literally a year ago I got my first ob and it was horrible couldn’t walk for 2 weeks so at least I didn’t go through that I’m upset this happened to me too like We have a right to be upset about this but don’t be upset or angry with yourself you didn’t ask for this to happen to you..

I didn’t ask for this to happen to me I’m only 22 and have to live with knowing this it hurts but there’s so much worse things that can happen to us I thank god I don’t have hiv , I never had a std before this happened to me I couldn’t believe it I had the ob 4 months from possibly catching it , and I will never know who gave it to me .. god works mysterious ways don’t he , but it don’t even matter who gave it to me I know I need to make better decisions with who I give my body too and that’s what I want to do for now on just know there’s millions of women and men in your shoes and we all made decisions we regret

I have HSV 1 & 2 as well. I have never had any cold sores but I think I had it on my tongue. It was real red and hurting a little. I had a spot come on my tongue last week that lasted for a two days so I'm guessing that was it.

It couldve it can appear anywhere on the face, it’s soo annoying mind come right underneath my nose I wish I was one of the luckier ones that didn’t get a horrible ob I did and then on top of that months possibly years after catching it

I am so sorry you are struggling so much. Such a minor virus with such a big stigma. Educate yourself. The best you can do is read about HSV. it's really not a big deal. There is no reason to be ashamed. HSV doesn't define who you are, and no one is exempt. I've known virgins who got it genitally from their husband's cold sires. I've known women who enjoyed multiple partners for years before getting HSV. It can happen to anyone. HSV is so common that if you're sexually active it's safe to assume that you very well could end up with it. HPV too. Except HPV can cause cancer and HSV causes a rash that lasts a few days.

You should speak with a therapist. It sounds like this is hitting you hard. Committing suicide over something so innocuous would be a terribly sad ending.

@username @mstanya I’m with you, username. I caledl my therapist that I used to use when something big happened years ago right away. He got me in and it was such a help. I walked in with no appetite and when i left I went food shopping and made a kick ass sandwich. @mstanya, have you confided in any friends or family? You need a “safe person” someone you trust completely to remind you that you are still the same person.

@Iwillbeok well I mentioned it when I first found out to a person I thought was my best friend but she told someone. I have not told anyone else about it.

@mytanya... oh noooo... that’s horrible. Like another betrayal. If you have insurance look into therapy. It will help. Maybe not right away, but it will.

@Iwillbeok, I have an appointment with one on the 18th.

Good move!!

I would suggest going on suppressives. I find that irritation is more common with H even though visually all looks normal. The only way they'd ever know differently is if they did a biopsy.

Stress and freaking out is pretty normal.... but the bigger picture is moving on and realizing you still have LIFE. I know.... but it's Truth.

I found out I had HSV2, HPV high risk and cervical dysplasia and another rare and incurable disease called PSC in less than 2 months time. Add in my incurable Rosacea disease and I now have 4... yep 4! INCURABLE diseases and one will try to kill me my entire life - PSC and if I live to get a new liver one day, all the immunosuppressants and steroids make for a play day for virus' like H and HPV. They actually suggest going off immunosuppressants as H can go rogue and turn cancerous on all organs in the pelvic region.

The point... Your life is far from over. I can relate... but at the same time, gift or curse, H has nothing on the bigger health issues that can really End your Life. No suicide necessary.

Get support and keep talking.... and keep moving and doing Life. Time does heal.

@Sunset you have just totally confused me. Are you saying that HSV can cause cancer?

@mstanya1234 If a person has autoimmune diseases, yes. You, no. Me at some point I will deal with it and it scares the shit outta me - but I have a major autoimmune disease that is killing my bile duct and will eventually kill my liver and beyond. Steroids and Immunosuppressant drugs and H are NOT a good combo. Keep that in mind if you ever have to take steroids. Just how it is.

The point of my post is that H is not worth your life especially since you have kids... as hard as it is to realize that your diagnosis could be one hella lot worse. You will in time come to terms and move on - it will take hard work....and it will be up to you for your kids at the very least to do so.

@sunset! Thanks and I will be praying for you and myself as well.