Wanted to share my story!

Hi everyone, I've been kind of in the back ground looking at many of your stories and personal experiences and it has helped me a lot and finally gave me enough courage to finally share my story. Not to get emotional support but to just share with others that this isn't the end of the world and things do get better.

A little about myself, I'm 20 and contracted herpes HSV2 when I was 19. And have had the virus for close to 6 months now, but was officially diagnosed two months ago. I'm a college student going to college to get my bachelors in marine biology and have a very high hope outcome in myself and my future. And I am NOT letting herpes control my life in any form, I was me before my diagnosis and I am still me after.

So bare with me as I share my lengthly story, and spill out my most kept secret.

As I said I was given the one thing we all dread and never wish on our worst enemy to get, which was HSV2. My giver was a guy whom I met online and connected very easily with. Although he was only in my area for a short time and I knew he would be leaving soon but I still pursued the thought that maybe we could work. So we had a first date and it went very nicely, I felt we could possible work but I never did ask him what his thoughts were on a relationship so in the back of my mind I knew maybe we would just not be exclusive or a one time fling. So that's what it turned out to be, just a one time fling. Come our second date he invited me to where he was staying and I agreed to it. He was staying an hour away so I stayed the night at his place. The first night we pretty much watched movies and cuddled and it was over all a nice calm night, but come the morning was when we got intimate. At this time he was the first guy I was with sexually ever and he knew that. But being as it was my first time I was naive and never even thought about STDs so that was never my initial thought. So when we became intimate I didn't ask him to put a condom on and neither did he insist. Which would turn out to be my one mistake. At this period in time I was trying to experience life, I'm young and since he was the first guy I was ever sexual with I just went for it without a care in the world, I wish I would have rethought that. And since that was always my thought, 'why didn't I care more?' 'why did I do this to myself?'. Those constant thoughts consumed me until I finally said F this and told myself it's ok because it is ok! Everyone makes mistakes and everyone if you're sexually active has a chance to get a STD. But back to my story. Two days later was when I got sick, the common flu symptoms and then finally the sores. But the pain was the worst, probably the worst pain I had ever been in. So while I was in that pain, I was alone. No one knew what I was going though and all I said was I was sick. When in reality I was sick but with a incurable virus, and that's what hurt the most. Being alone. And at this time I wasn't sure if I really did have herpes but when I searched my symptoms thats was all I could compare to so I finally self diagnosed myself and stuck with it. I think accepting it so soon even though I really didn't know is what helped me the most when I finally did know. So when I did officially find out 2 months ago I was H+ I didnt cry, I didn't go into my bed and wish I was dying. No, instead I was relieved because finally I knew and that brought me so much peace of mind that I was finally able to officially except it and move on with my life and that's what I did! So the moment I knew I told my best friend, and my mom! Both of them were soooo excepting! And I was so happy to finally tell someone, and they never judged me. Also I finally had enough courage to contact my giver. I told him I had it and he of course said he didn't know he had it which could be true since many people don't. But he also supported me and didn't judge or blame me, he even was willing to help pay for my medication and vitamins. Which I was very surprised when he offered to help, since I never asked. So we still keep in contact and he asks how I'm doing but besides that we have no further contact and that's for the best.

So as my story comes to a conclusion, this is not the end. I'm currently getting back out into the dating scene and I'm even meeting a guy this weekend that I've been talking to for about 2 weeks! He is so far so amazing, we talk everyday and talk on the phone almost every night. And even though we haven't met in person yet, he makes me so happy and since meeting him I feel like my old self again. But of course in the back of my mind I know I'll have to tell him about my status, which I have been reading a lot of your discourse stories and even some successful ones and it has brought me a lot of hope! That he turns out to be the guy I think he is and that if and when I tell him that he'll accept me for me. Which I think he might since he already said we will work through anything together so that brought me even more hope.

But if you've stuck around till now, thank you for reading my story. And anyone who's new to the herpes scene just know your life isn't over. If anything it's just beginning. Because this isn't the end of the world and you will live, it may take time but just know you're not the only one and soooo manyyyy other people in this huge beautiful world are out there that have exactly what you have and live amazing H+ lives. So if all goes will with the guy I'm talking to, I will eventually post my disclosure story and share either a successful one or a not so successful one but either way I will live on and live a HAPPY H+ life. And so will you!

You have so many great qualities that are obvious from reading your perspective.

I'm glad you aren't afraid!

You deserve to feel this kind of pride and confidence, and anyone who you choose to date can at least admire your courage and compassion when you disclose unashamedly!

You are extremely resilient, and having the courage to talk to the guy you contracted from may well do more good than you can know. Whether you accept his offer to help with cost and support, know that you did a really good thing!

Keep being courageous and kind!

You may not need a lot of support yourself, but consider checking in with the community here occasionally anyway. Your perspective and your resilience could be just the kind of thing that someone in a really tough spot might need.