talking about herpes
Why a herpes cure wouldn’t have helped me before now
Guest author from our community: Beckie
For years, I found ways to deny that I have herpes. My first herpes outbreak was brutal and traumatic, but after that, I never had another herpes outbreak. At the time of the onset, I was in a committed relationship with a supportive partner. And because I wasn’t having any outbreaks to remind me I had herpes, I did a very good job of forgetting about it. And even when I did feel occasional tingling, itching or discomfort, my mind didn’t immediately think it was related to herpes prodrome symptoms — I just brushed it off as nothing.
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[Video] Brenda (aka “Whoopsidaysi”) talks about her transformation
Guest author from our community: WhoopsiDaysi
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” — Anais Nin
I would be lying if I said getting herpes was the best thing to ever happen to me. Much like I would not say being divorced was the best thing to ever happen to me — three times. (But that is another blog altogether.) What was the best thing to happen to me though was what I learned from those experiences. As painful as they both were to deal with, and as much as I thought “my life is over” after each event, I realized that hidden within those experiences were lessons waiting for me to learn. I learned we are the masters of our destiny and also of our mind. We choose what we think, how we feel, what we believe, and how we are going to react in any given situation. The experience of having herpes is no different.
[Video] Growing through the yuck of having herpes
Guest author from our community: Ashley
It is easy to get sucked into the negative when you get a herpes diagnosis. I remember the day that I was diagnosed. I was at the health center at my university and I had the most horrific first herpes outbreak anyone could imagine. Two solid weeks of not being able to sit, lay down, use the bathroom, or shower without excruciating pain. Not to mention the accompanying nausea, fatigue, and general feelings of misery. The nurse gave me the diagnosis and I felt my heart hit the floor. Who would want me now since I have herpes? With shaking hands I dialed my then boyfriend’s cell phone number. “The rash I have? It’s herpes,” I said, cringing with every word. “I had a feeling that’s what it was,” he replied calmly. “Are you mad?” I asked. “No sweetie,” he said, “you’re still the same person you were an hour ago. It’s just herpes. It’s not life-threatening.”
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[Video] Herpes interview with a sexuality educator
I just finished recording a fun Skype session with Ashley (a sexuality educator and clinician) about everything herpes. Some of the topics covered include …
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People with herpes
Guest author from our community: Katie S.
After my herpes test came back positive, I was having a difficult time coming to terms with it. When I go through hardships, I want to talk to my friends and family. With herpes, I only wanted to talk to people who understood. I was afraid of the stigma around herpes, and afraid of what my friends and family might think. I joined a website that included herpes dating and a herpes forum. I started talking with other people who have herpes. I quickly realized just how wrong the stigma about herpes actually is. Through my experience having herpes, I have met some of the most interesting people, with the most loving, open, and kind hearts. More >
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[Teaser video] Herpes Opportunity weekend: Your cure for shame
A great, quick video to blow your mind about what is possible when you shift your mindset in a powerful way. The following is a short teaser. For the full 15-minute awesomeness, click here.
For all the need-to-know info on the next Herpes Opportunity Weekend Seminar, click here.
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Genital herpes stigma as an opportunity to help
What are your thoughts? Leave your comment on this forum discussion »
Guest author from our community: Shannon (SingBlueSilver)
Something fascinating is happening to me … There’s a small seed inside of me. It’s pushing for more attention daily. Changing, growing, morphing. It’s always been there, really, but never nurtured. I’ve been in therapy most of my life trying to coax the seed to gain roots and prosper. In the end, I think I was afraid to make real changes in my life to love myself and be happy because being a victim and sad all the time was easier. Real growth takes work and dedication. So the seed of my inner strength lay stagnant …
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Watch my herpes video diary
What are your thoughts? Leave your comment on this forum discussion »
DAY 1
Last week, my girlfriend and I decided to go our separate ways. It’s been the most loving relationship I’ve ever experienced. And I was so afraid to let it go (even though we both knew it was time to let it go). All of the fear that was holding on to about what breaking up would look like ended up not being like that at all when it happened. Ultimately, as it was in our relationship, it has been the most loving breakup I’ve ever experienced, too. We still love each other, still live together until she finds a new place, still committed to the best for each other, and knowing that we aren’t meant to be together, at least not now. And this change has set me on a path of wanting to make sure I take care of myself, too. I have a tendency to feel alone if I don’t stay connected to what matters, if I don’t remind myself of what’s important.
So I have dedicated myself to get up by an alarm clock at 7:00a (which is early, folks, I’m a freelancer!), bolt out of bed, head out the door to start my first hour off with deep breathing, practicing gratitude, getting clear on what I want my future to look and feel like, and reminding myself to feel instead of shut down. I am lucky enough to have a beautiful forest and creek right across the street from me. And I go jogging along the creek during this routine. At a certain point along the path is a beautiful spot that overlooks a bend in the creek where I sit down and record whatever comes up. And I’ve decided to share the first three days of this video diary with you, with our community … More >
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I’ve been lying to you …
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Yes, this whole time, I’ve been lying to you. I’ve been talking about transparency and openness and vulnerability as keys to letting go of shame around having herpes. And I haven’t been being entirely open, vulnerable and shameless. I have been afraid. I’ve given convenient excuses to my friends and family who know about the Herpes Opportunity, and I’ve provided excuses to myself. And through those excuses, I think that in a way, I’ve been perpetuating the stigma, perpetuating the idea that as a person with herpes, I need to hide to protect myself. Believing that if people knew the truth that they would have judgments. They would reject me. It’s been a part of my own long-term process of “coming out of the herpes closet.” And as much as it was truly a part of my process, there was also this nagging voice in me that said I wasn’t practicing what I preached. I felt like a fraud. And I apologize.
And now I’m ready to come clean … *deep breath* … My actual name is not Dale …
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Herpes cure: Shame as breadcrumbs to more wholeness
DISCLAIMER: There is no cure for herpes in the physical sense, but there is a herpes cure in how you allow it to affect your life … your own unhealthy relationship to yourself and to this simple virus can be cured.
A friend shared with me one of the most profound statements about shame: Shame is breadcrumbs that lead to more opportunities for self-acceptance and wholeness. So having shame about genital herpes is us believing that who we are isn’t enough to have someone accept a simple virus. This shame holds us back from believing that entire parts of ourselves are lovable. So we avoid looking at those parts of ourselves. We look the other way. Denial is the easiest way to avoid those parts that we don’t love, those parts we don’t accept. But what if those parts we are choosing not to look at is where our beauty lies?
