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Partner said they didn’t have herpes. How did I get it?

This is a question we see a lot on our Herpes Opportunity community forums. “How did I get herpes? My partner said they didn’t have it. How is this possible?”

Here are a few possible answers to consider …

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The bouncer in your head

Imagine this.

You’re planning a party. It can be your birthday party, a New Years Eve party, an end-of-the-world party, an “I’m alive” party — it doesn’t matter what the excuse to celebrate is; all you know is it’s gonna be epic. Fun. Joy. Celebration. Dancing. Connecting with people you love. Frolicking …

This will be everything you could ever want in a party. And you get to create it. (You epic party-planner, you.) More >

Cicily versus Sweet Cicily: “I have herpes.”

Guest author from our community: Cicily

Last fall I had watched a powerful TEDx Talks presentation by speaker Ash Beckham where she shared her experience with coming out of the closet as a lesbian. Her message of acceptance and self love went viral across social media and the world wide web.


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CatalystCon panel: Living with herpes, HIV, STIs

Many people living with an STI are too ashamed to admit their diagnosis. In the de facto hierarchy of STIs, Herpes and HIV are widely considered to be the “worst” to get because they are not curable. In this panel, we combine the knowledge and experience of sex educators and public health professionals, two of whom are “out” about having STIs themselves. We’ll discuss sex and dating with an STI, as well as navigating the stigma that exists in daily life. Knowledge is more contagious than STIs. According to the CDC, 1 in 3 Americans have an STI. Those statistics make this an important and relevant discussion for all sexuality professionals.

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Herpes then and now… thoughts from a life-long herpes carrier

Guest author from our community: WCSDancer2010

I don’t remember what it’s like to not have Herpes. Photo albums have pictures of me at around 3 years of age, with half my chin broken out in a big-assed cold sore. Snapshots of me passed out because I was running a temperature of 105 that always seemed to accompany the outbreaks. Memories of trips to multiple “specialists” and even a move to a bigger city that had a Teaching Hospital to try to figure out what was causing the fevers…when all along, the cause was staring them in the face.

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Closets are for hangers

Guest author from our community: Carlos

Very simple instructions… Closets are for wire hangers, NOT for the human Soul. Hello again! This is your HERPES virus speaking. I’m sort of using my buddy Carlos again to reach out to you in love. Yes, in L.O.V.E.! What, you think because I’m a tiny parasite I have no capacity to love, especially my host? Don’t get it twisted. Like Lady Gaga said: “I was born this way!”
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If you live your life in fear …

Guest author from our community: WCSDancer2010

This morning I was responding to some of the discussions on the Herpes Opportunity Forum and came across a question from a young gentleman who lives in a small town and who is concerned that if he discloses, that someone might “out” him and the whole community would learn of his H+ status. I want to post my response here because I think it is sooooo important that people learn the lesson that H is giving to many regarding how we often allow the Opinions and Ignorance of society to run our lives……

The young gentleman said:

“I watched About Last Night with Kevin Hart. In the movie he is trying to hit on several women and his ex walks up and scares them off. He asks her what she said to them , her reply was that he gave her herpes. He screams out I don’t have ‘fucking herpes’ — everybody in the film stops and looks at him. There is a bunch of laughing where I was watching it. It’s just awful feeling. Watching the jokes, hearing them, knowing that you would be shunned if people knew.”

Here is my reply:

So imagine you are watching that movie before you had Herpes. What would you have seen in that scene that is one of the lessons of the movie? (Because writers are usually writing about the Human Condition … how we live and react to what happens around us, there is often a message in the parts where there is a strong human interaction). What is the message of that scene? Play along with me….. I’m going to create a space here so you don’t see my answer immediately …

I want you to think about this on your own first …

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Herpes community update!

Our “Forum Mom” Pam (WCSDancer) and I got on Skype last week to get caught up on the latest conversations and trends happening in our H Opp community. Luckily, we recorded it so you can listen in! :)

(And remember, whether you need support or want to lend a hand in supporting others who need it, come join us.)

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Using Herpes As Your Wing-Man

Guest author from our community: WCSDancer2010

I know you may not be able to imagine this right now, but Herpes really CAN become your Wing-man in both your dating and regular life.  The definition of a Wing-man is “… a role that a person may take when a friend needs support with approaching potential partners. A wingman is someone who is on the “inside” and is used to help someone with intimate relationships.” (from Wikipedia)

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